Deep Meaning at Work
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Deep Meaning at Work User-supplied captions; uncorrected and not audio-verified. [00:00:10.547 --> 00:00:12.147] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) There we go. [00:00:13.267 --> 00:00:15.267] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And we'll play from the current slide. [00:00:16.587 --> 00:00:17.987] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) All right. Hello, everybody. [00:00:20.067 --> 00:00:24.229] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) If you were not in the first session, this will be the first half of this [00:00:24.229 --> 00:00:27.379] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) presentation will be nearly identical to the first one. [00:00:27.379 --> 00:00:31.316] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) The second-half I'm going to focus on the the slides I didn't get to, [00:00:31.316 --> 00:00:34.747] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) so I'll sort of skim over the other part. So if you want to. [00:00:35.107 --> 00:00:36.787] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) See more detail on the. [00:00:38.867 --> 00:00:42.674] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) 3rd, 3/4, third, fourth of the talk content. [00:00:42.674 --> 00:00:48.257] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Go watch the other one. All right. So without further ado, hello, [00:00:48.257 --> 00:00:53.587] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I am Steven Trimbeck. This is Deep Meaning at work. This is a. [00:00:54.067 --> 00:00:58.922] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Practical philosophical talk about addressing the the challenges that come [00:00:58.922 --> 00:01:03.389] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) with being alive as a human being, needing to make money to survive, [00:01:03.389 --> 00:01:08.051] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) but also kind of wanting to enjoy the ride and get something out of it. [00:01:08.051 --> 00:01:10.187] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Most of this will relate to work. [00:01:10.987 --> 00:01:14.837] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Not all of it directly. Generally I I don't see any separation [00:01:14.837 --> 00:01:18.197] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) between work and life. That's my personal perspective. [00:01:18.197 --> 00:01:22.719] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So while a lot of these things do not make a direct correlation to a work [00:01:22.719 --> 00:01:26.874] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) problem or some sort of goal, I think you guys will be able to draw [00:01:26.874 --> 00:01:28.707] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) those correlations yourselves. [00:01:28.707 --> 00:01:33.586] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And it will make sense. OK, cool. So all this stuff is practical. [00:01:33.586 --> 00:01:37.948] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I just drew from like my own notes and journals and stuff. [00:01:37.948 --> 00:01:43.345] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) This is what has worked for me. So all of this is is first hand now like [00:01:43.345 --> 00:01:45.267] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) everything I borrowed and. [00:01:45.267 --> 00:01:49.040] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Drew from many different sources. Nothing is is truly unique. [00:01:49.040 --> 00:01:53.360] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So take it and make it your own. And all of the things that we'll talk [00:01:53.360 --> 00:01:56.585] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) about today, I mean the the good section is meant to [00:01:56.585 --> 00:01:59.993] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) be practiced. You know, none of it should be, you know, [00:01:59.993 --> 00:02:01.027] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) earth-shaking or. [00:02:01.107 --> 00:02:03.734] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) It should feel familiar and it's meant to be done. [00:02:03.734 --> 00:02:06.155] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Just looking at it isn't going to do anything. [00:02:06.155 --> 00:02:09.966] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) It has to be practiced day in and day out. Alright, so let's get started. [00:02:09.966 --> 00:02:14.138] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And by the way, if you have any questions, you can just come off mute and ask if [00:02:14.138 --> 00:02:16.147] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) something really doesn't make sense or. [00:02:16.147 --> 00:02:19.508] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I glossed over something. Feel free to to just talk. [00:02:19.508 --> 00:02:23.757] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) This is not super formal. Otherwise I will reserve like 10 minutes [00:02:23.757 --> 00:02:26.547] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) or so at the end for questions and answers. [00:02:28.467 --> 00:02:31.363] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) All right, So what this talk is about going to [00:02:31.363 --> 00:02:35.862] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) address. If you haven't read the abstract, the premise is pretty simple. [00:02:35.862 --> 00:02:40.854] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) There are large-scale societal challenges, and these are not separate from work. [00:02:40.854 --> 00:02:43.627] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) They bleed into our work because, as I said, [00:02:43.627 --> 00:02:48.187] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I don't see any separation between life and work. You're the same person. [00:02:48.427 --> 00:02:51.786] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Yes, we put on roles, we behave a little bit differently, [00:02:51.786 --> 00:02:56.361] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) but that's that's fine. Fundamentally, you are the same person and how you are [00:02:56.361 --> 00:03:00.936] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) in one domain of your life profoundly affects how you are in all the others to [00:03:00.936 --> 00:03:05.627] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) a degree that I think we we forget about until we start making positive changes. [00:03:05.747 --> 00:03:11.895] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So most of this is just about stuff that I did over the past few years, [00:03:11.895 --> 00:03:18.812] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) especially over the last six months or so on a personal quest to try to enjoy my [00:03:18.812 --> 00:03:20.947] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) time and find meaning in. [00:03:20.947 --> 00:03:25.661] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Even boring moments doing stuff I don't want to do, especially those moments. [00:03:25.661 --> 00:03:30.254] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And I wanted to didn't want to settle for a life that was just pretty good. [00:03:30.254 --> 00:03:34.907] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And then I had to go for go to work and it was conditionally good. You know, [00:03:34.907 --> 00:03:39.621] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) if I got what I wanted or I was working on something I liked or with people I [00:03:39.621 --> 00:03:40.467] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) liked, it was. [00:03:40.587 --> 00:03:45.590] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Fine, but otherwise I dreaded it. I wanted to move towards an existence [00:03:45.590 --> 00:03:50.385] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) where it's pretty much good. There is something valuable about every [00:03:50.385 --> 00:03:53.651] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) moment, and so this is basically recounting my [00:03:53.651 --> 00:03:58.307] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) personal experience and what I've learned along the way. It's not. [00:03:58.307 --> 00:04:01.670] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) The only way, by all means, I'm open to other things. [00:04:01.670 --> 00:04:05.906] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Like I said in the first talk, I am a human experiment in progress. [00:04:05.906 --> 00:04:10.390] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) These are my results so far. Take what you like. All right, here we go. [00:04:10.390 --> 00:04:14.563] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Here's what's on the label. You're going to learn how to be happy, [00:04:14.563 --> 00:04:16.307] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) regardless of circumstances. [00:04:16.427 --> 00:04:20.578] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Feel connected to your work and the people around you gracefully navigate, [00:04:20.578 --> 00:04:24.398] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) change in and out of work. And none of the stuff we're going to talk [00:04:24.398 --> 00:04:28.715] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) about requires you to change anything about what you actually do in your job. [00:04:28.715 --> 00:04:31.427] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Now you can, and you may, but I would recommend. [00:04:31.507 --> 00:04:34.748] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Trying these changes first to see where that leads you, [00:04:34.748 --> 00:04:38.337] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) and then if you want to go forward and make external changes, [00:04:38.337 --> 00:04:41.694] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) change your new role, learn new skills, change companies. [00:04:41.694 --> 00:04:45.572] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I have absolutely no problem with saying you're miserable. I mean, [00:04:45.572 --> 00:04:46.787] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) go do something else. [00:04:46.987 --> 00:04:50.040] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) But try this first, because I think you may find that you [00:04:50.040 --> 00:04:52.987] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) don't need a lot of the changes you thought you didn't. [00:04:54.307 --> 00:04:57.185] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) OK, so I'm not going to spend a lot of time [00:04:57.185 --> 00:05:00.324] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) on the sort of negative current state problems, [00:05:00.324 --> 00:05:04.510] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) but I think most of us are pretty familiar with this. You know, [00:05:04.510 --> 00:05:09.743] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) media and movies and podcasts is these things are all pretty good at describing [00:05:09.743 --> 00:05:13.144] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) problems. Not a whole lot of people bring solutions [00:05:13.144 --> 00:05:13.667] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) to bear. [00:05:14.227 --> 00:05:19.712] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I sought my own and people who are trying to do the same, but it's worth mentioning, [00:05:19.712 --> 00:05:22.874] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) you know, my view of where we're coming from and [00:05:22.874 --> 00:05:26.939] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) what's worth addressing. So there's a lot of technological and [00:05:26.939 --> 00:05:29.907] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) societal change. There's a lot of disruption. [00:05:29.987 --> 00:05:35.112] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) A lot of negative emotion and I think more troubling that there is an influx of [00:05:35.112 --> 00:05:39.661] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) noise in our lives. Seemingly we are, you know, talking at each other, [00:05:39.661 --> 00:05:44.851] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) but we feel less and less connected and there's a sort of hollowness to a lot of [00:05:44.851 --> 00:05:45.107] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) our. [00:05:45.107 --> 00:05:48.427] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Existence. That's not something you can easily [00:05:48.427 --> 00:05:51.676] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) measure, but it the symptoms clearly show up, [00:05:51.676 --> 00:05:55.278] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) you know, in the form of a mental health crisis or [00:05:55.278 --> 00:06:00.787] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) quiet quitting or checking out or, you know, on the other end, extreme anger. [00:06:00.867 --> 00:06:03.884] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) All these sorts of problems are are really, you know, [00:06:03.884 --> 00:06:08.410] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) symptoms of underlying things that are difficult to measure and we don't spend a [00:06:08.410 --> 00:06:12.042] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) lot of time thinking about. I'm not going to spend a lot of time [00:06:12.042 --> 00:06:15.729] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) talking about it because I don't really like diagnosing problems. [00:06:15.729 --> 00:06:18.467] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) This is what worked for me and I think at scale. [00:06:18.707 --> 00:06:22.255] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) It can work for a lot of people. That's up to you to decide. [00:06:22.255 --> 00:06:25.803] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) But in the face of all those problems, all these challenges, [00:06:25.803 --> 00:06:29.410] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) people have a couple basic and very understandable responses. [00:06:29.410 --> 00:06:32.667] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) There's no judgment in it at all. It's just what we do. [00:06:34.707 --> 00:06:38.145] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) All right, so the first bucket here is comes in two [00:06:38.145 --> 00:06:41.053] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) forms, and this is general disillusionment. [00:06:41.053 --> 00:06:46.474] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So I can pull up a bunch of quotes that demonstrate what I'm trying to talk about [00:06:46.474 --> 00:06:50.705] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) here, but we can capsulate in the quote. Why bother? Who cares? [00:06:50.705 --> 00:06:52.027] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) This doesn't matter. [00:06:53.347 --> 00:06:54.947] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) It is a sense that. [00:06:56.507 --> 00:06:58.546] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I'm going to do things that are in it for me, [00:06:58.546 --> 00:07:00.939] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) or things that are conditional based on the outcomes, [00:07:00.939 --> 00:07:04.485] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) whether they help people or they they do something that I like or help somebody [00:07:04.485 --> 00:07:04.707] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) else. [00:07:05.427 --> 00:07:08.246] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And if I can't, then I'm going to not do it, [00:07:08.246 --> 00:07:12.192] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) or I'm going to be unmotivated. So two general responses here. [00:07:12.192 --> 00:07:15.887] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Nihilism is the sense that nothing matters, so why bother? [00:07:15.887 --> 00:07:20.898] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Sometimes this descends into hedonism. Just I'm just going to seek pleasure and [00:07:20.898 --> 00:07:21.587] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) avoid pain. [00:07:22.147 --> 00:07:25.119] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And that's what most of my existence is about. [00:07:25.119 --> 00:07:30.177] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I'm going to do the bare minimum to get by, maybe serve a couple of the values, [00:07:30.177 --> 00:07:34.476] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) but for the most part, nothing matters, so who cares? And escapism, [00:07:34.476 --> 00:07:39.092] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) as I mentioned the first time, is even more dangerous in my opinion of a [00:07:39.092 --> 00:07:41.747] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) world view because it supposes that there. [00:07:41.747 --> 00:07:45.960] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Is a better place. You know, there's another job, another company, [00:07:45.960 --> 00:07:50.487] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) another life, another, I don't know, another girlfriend or boyfriend or [00:07:50.487 --> 00:07:55.266] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) another set of life circumstances that then I'll be happy, then I'll be OK, [00:07:55.266 --> 00:07:57.027] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) then it will be good enough. [00:07:57.107 --> 00:08:00.039] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And I think we know that that is a lie. In general, [00:08:00.039 --> 00:08:04.551] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) if you're above like a baseline, you know, far be it from me to say if you are, [00:08:04.551 --> 00:08:07.201] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) you know, suffering profoundly from, you know, [00:08:07.201 --> 00:08:11.487] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) some like intense like pain disorder or something that you should be happy. [00:08:11.487 --> 00:08:14.307] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) But if you're above some basic baseline and it's. [00:08:14.307 --> 00:08:18.198] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Not that high of a base of a bar. Then if you are not able to find [00:08:18.198 --> 00:08:21.334] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) contentment, you probably will not find it in another [00:08:21.334 --> 00:08:23.890] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) thing. Doesn't mean you can't make external [00:08:23.890 --> 00:08:26.794] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) changes, but this is a different kind of delusion [00:08:26.794 --> 00:08:30.627] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) that is very dangerous because unlike nihilism in the sense that. [00:08:31.027 --> 00:08:34.224] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) You never find peace. You're always looking. That, [00:08:34.224 --> 00:08:38.738] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) in my opinion, is doomed to fail. And then there's status quo thinking. [00:08:38.738 --> 00:08:43.503] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) This is the other general bucket. This is believing that either there is no [00:08:43.503 --> 00:08:46.387] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) problem or that the problems are conditional. [00:08:46.387 --> 00:08:51.351] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Or that you can overcome, you know, large scale problems or changes to ways [00:08:51.351 --> 00:08:54.682] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) of being, to changes in your environment and human [00:08:54.682 --> 00:08:57.817] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) society, or whatever the problems are simply by [00:08:57.817 --> 00:09:01.279] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) working harder, doubling down on traditional success [00:09:01.279 --> 00:09:01.867] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) measures. [00:09:02.827 --> 00:09:08.552] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Whatever those may be. Fame, fortune, like people liking what you're doing. [00:09:08.552 --> 00:09:12.017] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Followers, please don't get me started on the [00:09:12.017 --> 00:09:17.440] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Internet. You know what this looks like. That does not work. And again, [00:09:17.440 --> 00:09:18.947] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) these people end up. [00:09:19.067 --> 00:09:24.778] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Compensating generally through the same sort of comfort seeking or desire to numb [00:09:24.778 --> 00:09:29.375] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) yourself or escape in some way. And I don't think very few people [00:09:29.375 --> 00:09:34.459] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) actually believe this on a conscious level. Yeah, so that's that. Again, [00:09:34.459 --> 00:09:38.707] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) neither. None of these are wrong. They make sense, actually. [00:09:38.867 --> 00:09:41.900] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Their logical reactions to challenges, to uncertainty. [00:09:41.900 --> 00:09:45.209] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) How do you handle uncertainty, especially at the big scale? [00:09:45.209 --> 00:09:49.455] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) It tends to make you feel powerless, and there aren't that many responses to [00:09:49.455 --> 00:09:51.881] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) that. People generally make pretty rational [00:09:51.881 --> 00:09:54.418] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) decisions. It just doesn't look good when you [00:09:54.418 --> 00:09:57.947] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) multiply that at a large scale for a culture at a company or a. [00:09:58.467 --> 00:10:02.198] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Culture for a country. So what can we do? Nope, we're not there yet. [00:10:02.198 --> 00:10:06.685] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) We're almost done with this part, though. How do these strategies affect our lives [00:10:06.685 --> 00:10:11.173] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) and work? I mean, you can see it, right? It it creates an existence that is overly [00:10:11.173 --> 00:10:13.227] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) competitive. It's what's in it for me. [00:10:33.227 --> 00:10:37.275] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) All sorts of you become vulnerable to all sorts of other problems, [00:10:37.275 --> 00:10:41.867] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) so I don't really need to belabor this point. I think this part is a given. [00:10:41.907 --> 00:10:42.667] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Given. [00:10:46.627 --> 00:10:49.373] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So here's the more interesting part. So, you know, [00:10:49.373 --> 00:10:52.120] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) we met with the same challenges as everybody else. [00:10:52.120 --> 00:10:56.481] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I'm just a a fellow human being met with all the same problems over the past few [00:10:56.481 --> 00:11:00.197] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) years. Especially like, you know, I I saw that I want to be content, [00:11:00.197 --> 00:11:03.427] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I want to be happy, or at least I want to be OK pretty much [00:11:03.427 --> 00:11:04.827] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) no matter what's going on. [00:11:05.347 --> 00:11:09.357] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And I want to find a way to do that within my control. And I mostly got there. [00:11:09.357 --> 00:11:11.793] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) But you know, work had always been a challenge. [00:11:11.793 --> 00:11:15.701] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And but I also wanted to have ambitions. I wanted to do things in the world. [00:11:15.701 --> 00:11:19.051] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I wanted to help people. I wanted to learn things and I wanted to [00:11:19.051 --> 00:11:21.741] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) be involved. And these two things seem fundamentally [00:11:21.741 --> 00:11:22.147] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) opposed. [00:11:22.587 --> 00:11:27.480] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) How do I unify that? How do I be content, but also do stuff and be involved? [00:11:27.480 --> 00:11:31.102] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And how do I not go crazy? How do I combat this sense of [00:11:31.102 --> 00:11:34.278] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) disconnection? How do I feel connected to my work [00:11:34.278 --> 00:11:37.583] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) especially? How do I want to be here in the average [00:11:37.583 --> 00:11:38.027] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) moment? [00:11:38.307 --> 00:11:43.003] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So this is what I came up with, and this is what has really worked for me. [00:11:43.003 --> 00:11:47.762] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So I'm going to describe an ideal state that I'm approaching, like a limit. [00:11:47.762 --> 00:11:50.580] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) You know, you never quite. It's a direction, [00:11:50.580 --> 00:11:53.147] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) but it's not something you'll ever reach. [00:11:53.787 --> 00:11:57.790] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So here's my ideal state for a working life. Again, [00:11:57.790 --> 00:12:04.024] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I see them as a blend of the same person. I'm not a different person when I'm at [00:12:04.024 --> 00:12:08.873] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) work and when I'm at home. I'm the same person and how I carry [00:12:08.873 --> 00:12:10.027] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) myself matters. [00:12:10.147 --> 00:12:14.781] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And they bleed into each other. So for me, an ideal state is to feel connected to my [00:12:14.781 --> 00:12:17.234] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) work, to feel like what I'm doing matters on [00:12:17.234 --> 00:12:19.633] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) some level, to feel that I am contributing. [00:12:19.633 --> 00:12:22.359] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I want to feel connected to the people around me, [00:12:22.359 --> 00:12:26.393] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) and I to some degree I want to feel passion and excitement about what I'm [00:12:26.393 --> 00:12:29.827] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) doing. Not all the time. That's not reasonable, but sometimes. [00:12:29.827 --> 00:12:33.747] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Times I want to feel invested in it and I want to feel a sense of belonging. [00:12:35.187 --> 00:12:39.027] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) O that for me is an ideal statement. I want to feel useful. [00:12:39.987 --> 00:12:43.986] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So if I had to boil all of it down to the one thing that made the biggest [00:12:43.986 --> 00:12:46.363] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) difference through lots of trial and error, [00:12:46.363 --> 00:12:50.200] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) and then the rest of the talk is basically a whole bunch of individual [00:12:50.200 --> 00:12:53.442] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) ideas that are all supporting or complimentary in some way. [00:12:53.442 --> 00:12:57.656] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) The one thing that made the biggest difference to my lived experience is like [00:12:57.656 --> 00:12:59.547] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) whether I wanted to be here or not. [00:12:59.907 --> 00:13:04.629] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) That's that's really what this is about. What is the one chance that made the [00:13:04.629 --> 00:13:06.747] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) biggest difference? And it is this. [00:13:07.827 --> 00:13:12.229] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) It is a decision that your work always matters unconditionally. [00:13:12.229 --> 00:13:17.593] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I mean like really unconditionally. I say that if my work were being built on [00:13:17.593 --> 00:13:21.375] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) an assembly line, at the end of the assembly line is a [00:13:21.375 --> 00:13:23.507] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) trash can or an incinerator if. [00:13:23.507 --> 00:13:27.715] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) What I did was immediately destroyed and no one ever knew about it. [00:13:27.715 --> 00:13:32.665] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So it's demonstrably having no impact outside of myself that even then it would [00:13:32.665 --> 00:13:37.491] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) have a net positive inherent value. So whether you see this as like a willful [00:13:37.491 --> 00:13:42.132] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) delusion or some sort of, you know, greater like metaphysical or spiritual [00:13:42.132 --> 00:13:42.627] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) meaning. [00:13:42.827 --> 00:13:46.071] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Doesn't matter. It works either way as long as you [00:13:46.071 --> 00:13:50.078] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) inherently make make the choice that what I do matters always. [00:13:50.078 --> 00:13:54.785] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) This is true outside of work too, but it was especially important to hold [00:13:54.785 --> 00:13:59.619] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) this belief at work and it made a fundamental difference in the way I carry [00:13:59.619 --> 00:14:00.827] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) myself because now. [00:14:02.267 --> 00:14:06.389] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) What I'm doing is not dependent on whether, well, is that something I enjoy? [00:14:06.389 --> 00:14:08.958] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Is this going to further my career? Is it easy? [00:14:08.958 --> 00:14:12.276] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Is it actually going to make a business impact? I don't know. [00:14:12.276 --> 00:14:15.863] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) You can't always know that. There are things that are important to [00:14:15.863 --> 00:14:17.147] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) try, but you can't know. [00:14:17.427 --> 00:14:20.582] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And you have to try without knowing whether it will work. [00:14:20.582 --> 00:14:23.899] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) There are so many ways to value whether work matters or not, [00:14:23.899 --> 00:14:27.543] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) but almost all of them are conditional and external. And you know, [00:14:27.543 --> 00:14:30.317] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) in a sort of recursive base case sort of scenario, [00:14:30.317 --> 00:14:32.982] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) what happens when none of those things are true? [00:14:32.982 --> 00:14:36.027] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) They don't feel very true and you have to do it anyway. [00:14:36.907 --> 00:14:39.467] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Is there a way to feel like? [00:14:41.307 --> 00:14:43.907] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) You're not wasting your life or your moments. [00:14:44.627 --> 00:14:47.448] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) By being at work, and for me, this is what it took. [00:14:47.448 --> 00:14:51.027] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Like this changed everything. It is an unconditional belief that. [00:14:52.027 --> 00:14:55.517] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) My work matters. So did that pull request actually, [00:14:55.517 --> 00:14:58.738] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) you know, go through and result in some feature [00:14:58.738 --> 00:15:04.307] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) improvement to improve some metrics for customers? Did this bug fix actually work? [00:15:05.027 --> 00:15:08.570] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) It's not. It's a fundamentally different premise [00:15:08.570 --> 00:15:13.630] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) that Nope, that's not how it works. I have chosen and it is a choice. [00:15:13.630 --> 00:15:18.185] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I've chosen to care. My work matters and it has a net positive [00:15:18.185 --> 00:15:20.787] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) value no matter what. And this is a. [00:15:20.827 --> 00:15:24.702] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) A different world view that changes how you aroach everything because you no [00:15:24.702 --> 00:15:25.507] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) longer approach. [00:15:26.147 --> 00:15:28.811] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) What needs to be done, or what's important, [00:15:28.811 --> 00:15:33.473] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) or what feels important from a selfish belief that it depends on the outcome [00:15:33.473 --> 00:15:36.985] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) because you don't need it anymore. You may still want it, [00:15:36.985 --> 00:15:41.707] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) you may still have a preference for things, but you don't need it to be true. [00:15:41.827 --> 00:15:47.061] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And it it changes the way you approach everything. Yep. All right, so here we go. [00:15:47.061 --> 00:15:50.826] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) What worked for me? So we're going to skip through some of [00:15:50.826 --> 00:15:55.741] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) these slides pretty quickly so that we have time to get to the ones I missed [00:15:55.741 --> 00:15:56.187] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) before. [00:15:57.107 --> 00:16:00.102] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) But I'll still, I'll cover them in brief. All right, [00:16:00.102 --> 00:16:04.454] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) so the small moments are not small. They're everything. This is saying that, [00:16:04.454 --> 00:16:07.958] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) you know, most of our time is regular, boring, small moments, [00:16:07.958 --> 00:16:10.614] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) and they make up everything, really. You know, [00:16:10.614 --> 00:16:14.513] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) peak experiences at the moment of achieving goals really aren't that [00:16:14.513 --> 00:16:16.547] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) important. They're important to add. [00:16:16.627 --> 00:16:20.159] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Aspects of ourselves, but we are way overweight in terms of how [00:16:20.159 --> 00:16:24.408] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) important those things are. In reality, we would be far better served paying [00:16:24.408 --> 00:16:28.436] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) attention to what is the quality of life and the value of an individual, [00:16:28.436 --> 00:16:32.850] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) relatively boring moment when nothing's going on, because that is ninety-eight, [00:16:32.850 --> 00:16:34.947] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) ninety-nine percent of your existence. [00:16:35.027 --> 00:16:39.842] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And that they're not small. And how you carry yourselves and how much [00:16:39.842 --> 00:16:45.139] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) you invest meaning into those moments greatly determines the quality of your [00:16:45.139 --> 00:16:50.711] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) life and the quality of the the life of the people around you. That's customers, [00:16:50.711 --> 00:16:51.467] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) co-workers. [00:16:51.987 --> 00:16:56.391] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Friends, family, if you treat every small moment as if it [00:16:56.391 --> 00:17:01.933] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) is a big deal and that it is important how you carry yourself right now, [00:17:01.933 --> 00:17:03.907] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) it will change everything. [00:17:06.827 --> 00:17:11.131] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) OK, cool. This is a similar concept. This is simply the premise that as a [00:17:11.131 --> 00:17:14.563] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) general heuristic, you can either be leaning in or leaning [00:17:14.563 --> 00:17:18.634] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) away from every experience. You can't actually escape any experience. [00:17:18.634 --> 00:17:23.345] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) You're here whether you like it or not. I would encourage you to instead of when [00:17:23.345 --> 00:17:26.427] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) you notice you're leaning away, I'll keep that as a. [00:17:26.707 --> 00:17:29.623] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Rough, intuitive definition for now. Instead, [00:17:29.623 --> 00:17:32.792] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) do the exact opposite and try to lean in instead. [00:17:32.792 --> 00:17:36.406] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) We'll talk a little more about some more ideas in a bit. [00:17:36.406 --> 00:17:41.223] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) This slide is important to cover, especially in age of large change and new [00:17:41.223 --> 00:17:42.427] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) categorical change. [00:17:42.787 --> 00:17:48.496] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I've started trying to navigate primarily using intuition and trust in that [00:17:48.496 --> 00:17:54.429] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) intuition rather than a bunch of left brain planning because it's very hard to [00:17:54.429 --> 00:17:59.987] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) do. We all have six months, 12 months, two year plans at every level and. [00:18:00.067 --> 00:18:03.876] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I'm of the opinion that this is largely not just useless, [00:18:03.876 --> 00:18:08.341] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) but often a destructive exercise. When things are changing rapidly, [00:18:08.341 --> 00:18:11.427] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) it's simply not nimble enough, and it's often. [00:18:13.587 --> 00:18:16.847] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Creating bad outcomes. It's how we spend so much time, [00:18:16.847 --> 00:18:20.344] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) especially in engineering, trying to ask what can be done, [00:18:20.344 --> 00:18:23.960] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) what could be done. We spend very little time thinking about [00:18:23.960 --> 00:18:26.567] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) what is it actually like to live that life? [00:18:26.567 --> 00:18:29.827] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Do I actually want to live the existence I'm creating? [00:18:29.827 --> 00:18:34.029] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I think that is worth considering. Intuition never makes that mistake if you [00:18:34.029 --> 00:18:37.794] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) trust it and you follow it, and I find that it is a much more nimble [00:18:37.794 --> 00:18:40.850] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) and agile way. Of course, you still have to think about [00:18:40.850 --> 00:18:44.725] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) consequences and planning it all out, how you're going to get it done, [00:18:44.725 --> 00:18:46.307] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) but I encourage you to start. [00:18:46.307 --> 00:18:50.980] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Navigating by a felt sense of what seems like it matters, what feels important, [00:18:50.980 --> 00:18:53.667] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) even if it's not popular, and following that, [00:18:53.667 --> 00:18:56.412] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) at least for a while and seeing where it goes. [00:18:56.412 --> 00:19:00.968] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And it hasn't really steered me wrong yet. It works at every level. I highly, [00:19:00.968 --> 00:19:03.187] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) highly recommend taking this approach. [00:19:03.747 --> 00:19:07.227] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Rather than trying to know how it will all workout and planning every step. [00:19:09.747 --> 00:19:13.810] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Briefly cover this. How you are was always more important [00:19:13.810 --> 00:19:17.872] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) than what you do. This has really helped me when deciding [00:19:17.872 --> 00:19:22.075] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) what to do. It's not clear. Sometimes it's still not clear. [00:19:22.075 --> 00:19:26.627] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I realized that this is a fallacy like the the premise is wrong. [00:19:26.987 --> 00:19:31.764] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) How I my disposition right now is always more important than whatever random task [00:19:31.764 --> 00:19:35.783] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) or plan I've set aside. It doesn't matter. Should I do this or that? [00:19:35.783 --> 00:19:39.977] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Should I work on this or that? Should I talk to this person or should I [00:19:39.977 --> 00:19:42.947] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) do this thing? It doesn't matter if I find myself. [00:19:43.387 --> 00:19:47.177] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Trapped in decisions. I have to take a step back and go. [00:19:47.177 --> 00:19:50.568] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Forget about that. Like get your head on straight. [00:19:50.568 --> 00:19:55.820] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Like change your the way you're orienting yourself to your work and to the the [00:19:55.820 --> 00:19:58.147] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) present moment. Lean in, basically. [00:19:58.147 --> 00:20:01.239] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) If you do that, everything else kind of works out. [00:20:01.239 --> 00:20:05.906] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Even if you're doing something dumb, like even you're doing a sort of menial [00:20:05.906 --> 00:20:09.361] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) task that it doesn't matter and you're still indecisive. [00:20:09.361 --> 00:20:14.513] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) If you simply change the way that you are oriented to the world to be more positive, [00:20:14.513 --> 00:20:17.907] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) open, engaged, sort of trusting, it's going to be fine. [00:20:18.187 --> 00:20:20.814] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Work out, often less thinking, more feeling. [00:20:20.814 --> 00:20:25.016] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) It tends to lead somewhere more interesting, and usually not that long, [00:20:25.016 --> 00:20:29.160] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) and you end up where you need to be. It's a sort of interesting quirk. [00:20:29.160 --> 00:20:33.187] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I'm sure you can take this to the extreme and really abuse the idea, [00:20:33.187 --> 00:20:34.587] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) but you get the premise. [00:20:34.627 --> 00:20:35.307] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) You get the premise. [00:20:36.347 --> 00:20:38.947] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) All right, so now we're into some new content. [00:20:41.467 --> 00:20:41.867] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So. [00:20:43.707 --> 00:20:48.513] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Our attention and by proxy, I think our energy is our most valuable [00:20:48.513 --> 00:20:54.095] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) commodity or valuable resource in the modern age for humanity. It's not money, [00:20:54.095 --> 00:20:57.841] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) it's not time. All of these things are derivative of [00:20:57.841 --> 00:20:58.547] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) attention. [00:20:58.627 --> 00:21:02.841] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And to again, to a degree, some sort of felt sense of energy. [00:21:02.841 --> 00:21:07.056] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And what you put your attention on is of critical importance. [00:21:07.056 --> 00:21:10.590] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) We really are our environments, and more than that, [00:21:10.590 --> 00:21:15.824] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) we are what we put our attention on. I live a pretty bizarre life for anyone [00:21:15.824 --> 00:21:16.707] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) who knows me. [00:21:16.947 --> 00:21:20.371] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I really don't. I don't consume any news media. [00:21:20.371 --> 00:21:25.151] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I do very little web browsing. I listen to almost no informational [00:21:25.151 --> 00:21:28.504] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) podcasts. I've withdrawn from a lot of things, [00:21:28.504 --> 00:21:32.356] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) and I spend most of my time these days in meat space. [00:21:32.356 --> 00:21:36.707] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) That is the stuff and the people that are physically around. [00:21:36.707 --> 00:21:39.966] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Around me and you find that your brain starts to rewire. [00:21:39.966 --> 00:21:43.683] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) That is the default mode network. The part of your brain that is [00:21:43.683 --> 00:21:48.429] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) responsible for thinking and planning and mind wandering reflection tends to worry [00:21:48.429 --> 00:21:51.459] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) about stuff that is actually happening in your life. [00:21:51.459 --> 00:21:55.747] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And this has made a profound difference in my lived quality of experience. [00:21:55.827 --> 00:22:00.365] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) At work, at home, everywhere. And that I try to make sure that I spend [00:22:00.365 --> 00:22:04.647] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) time so it improves the quality of my default mode network uptime. [00:22:04.647 --> 00:22:09.824] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So that is the time I'm doing nothing. The quality of my thoughts are better and [00:22:09.824 --> 00:22:13.147] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) they're more relevant to what's actually happening. [00:22:14.147 --> 00:22:19.026] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And it has made a huge difference. So if something is in your attention at [00:22:19.026 --> 00:22:22.603] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) all, to some degree, you eventually become that thing, [00:22:22.603 --> 00:22:27.026] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) whether you want to or not. We have this unfortunate belief that we [00:22:27.026 --> 00:22:28.587] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) can compensate for that. [00:22:29.227 --> 00:22:33.367] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) But that is to a large degree not true, and that these things get in [00:22:33.367 --> 00:22:36.007] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) subconsciously, whether you want to or not. [00:22:36.007 --> 00:22:40.207] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So just be careful about what you let into your attention in any way, [00:22:40.207 --> 00:22:44.827] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) because eventually you're going to be permanently, enduringly altered by it. [00:22:48.147 --> 00:22:51.524] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) All right, so this is more a sort of a Buddhist [00:22:51.524 --> 00:22:55.605] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) philosophy yoga. And this is again a heuristic that don't [00:22:55.605 --> 00:23:00.037] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) try to fix the inside with the outside. That is your emotions, [00:23:00.037 --> 00:23:02.147] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) your your internal discomfort. [00:23:03.187 --> 00:23:06.987] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I really felt I should be at this place in my career. I really felt I should. [00:23:07.827 --> 00:23:10.833] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Have these sort of outcomes or whatever it is, right? [00:23:10.833 --> 00:23:14.561] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Those are all external things, but they're you're trying to fix an [00:23:14.561 --> 00:23:18.624] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) internal problem with an external change, and this is doomed to failure. [00:23:18.624 --> 00:23:21.239] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) These are like categorically different things. [00:23:21.239 --> 00:23:23.187] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) You fix the inside with the inside. [00:23:23.347 --> 00:23:28.279] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) We'll talk about that in a minute, but this is just a general rule that has [00:23:28.279 --> 00:23:33.404] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) really helped me know on what level to solve a problem if I am unhappy about a [00:23:33.404 --> 00:23:36.454] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) situation, if I want to be doing or working on [00:23:36.454 --> 00:23:37.427] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) something else. [00:23:38.307 --> 00:23:43.399] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) The real problem is the discomfort, right? It's not the actual situation. [00:23:43.399 --> 00:23:48.009] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And I recognize that if I try to fix it by changing my co-workers, [00:23:48.009 --> 00:23:53.307] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) by getting other people to change the situation to change, my job to change. [00:23:53.667 --> 00:23:58.662] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I am perpetuating a problem because now I need the world to be a specific way to be [00:23:58.662 --> 00:24:01.220] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) OK. So you cannot fix whether you're OK or [00:24:01.220 --> 00:24:06.215] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) not by changing the circumstances. Again, within reason. If you're covered in ants, [00:24:06.215 --> 00:24:10.972] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) you should knock the ants off of you. Don't sit there saying that you can't fix [00:24:10.972 --> 00:24:11.507] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) the ants. [00:24:11.507 --> 00:24:15.755] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I can't fix the inside of the outside, but to some degree, [00:24:15.755 --> 00:24:20.291] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) and generally speaking, once you've stopped trying to do this, [00:24:20.291 --> 00:24:22.307] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) pretty much anything's good. [00:24:23.507 --> 00:24:25.853] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So that brings us to the skill of letting go, [00:24:25.853 --> 00:24:29.677] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) and I think there's one more slide after this and then we'll we'll move to [00:24:29.677 --> 00:24:30.187] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) questions. [00:24:31.627 --> 00:24:37.281] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) This has been a really powerful skill for me and it works on retty much every level. [00:24:37.281 --> 00:24:42.535] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) O once you've decided I'm not going to try to fix inside problems with outside [00:24:42.535 --> 00:24:43.067] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) changes. [00:24:44.707 --> 00:24:48.975] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) How do you do that? A lot of that is done through just [00:24:48.975 --> 00:24:53.320] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) letting it go. If you you sort of intuitively know what [00:24:53.320 --> 00:24:57.509] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) this is like, if somebody makes you angry or they say [00:24:57.509 --> 00:25:00.147] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) something rude, you have a moment. [00:25:00.307 --> 00:25:06.407] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) After the reaction where it's no longer happening anymore and you've moved on and [00:25:06.407 --> 00:25:11.094] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) you can either let it go or you can allow it to keep stocking. [00:25:11.094 --> 00:25:16.227] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So we all sort of know what this is like for emotions. It works for. [00:25:16.387 --> 00:25:19.374] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Thoughts. It works for all sorts of problems, [00:25:19.374 --> 00:25:24.049] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) beliefs. It is a sort of internal, like relaxing of your grip, sort of, [00:25:24.049 --> 00:25:28.204] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) and just no longer perpetuating a line of thinking or emotions. [00:25:28.204 --> 00:25:33.463] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And it is an absolute master skill and just being aware that this is a skill you [00:25:33.463 --> 00:25:34.307] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) can practice. [00:25:34.387 --> 00:25:38.597] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) In literally everything. Oh, they didn't put chocolate syrup on my ice [00:25:38.597 --> 00:25:42.273] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) cream that I ordered. There's a chance to practice letting it [00:25:42.273 --> 00:25:44.882] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) go. You practice it at every level. Oh, OK, [00:25:44.882 --> 00:25:49.329] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) they didn't mention me in this this month's like team meeting or whatever. [00:25:49.329 --> 00:25:51.107] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) There's a chance to let it go. [00:25:51.107 --> 00:25:56.126] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And it changes the way once you view this as a game you can play all the time, [00:25:56.126 --> 00:25:58.667] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) changes the way you approach everything. [00:26:00.907 --> 00:26:02.267] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So that brings us. [00:26:03.107 --> 00:26:07.385] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) To how to view discomfort and the urge to withdraw. [00:26:07.385 --> 00:26:13.307] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) This one has been extremely helpful, especially in an age where people. [00:26:14.787 --> 00:26:18.560] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Human connection is not a given anymore. It's almost something we're recreating. [00:26:18.560 --> 00:26:22.099] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) For some people it's easier than others, but we have to, like, recreate it. [00:26:22.099 --> 00:26:24.567] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And when you do these things, of course it cascades. [00:26:24.567 --> 00:26:27.827] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Other people do the same thing and it changes the culture around you. [00:26:29.427 --> 00:26:33.783] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) But I encourage you to start to view an internal sense of friction or tension in [00:26:33.783 --> 00:26:36.310] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) any action. Should I speak up in this meeting? [00:26:36.310 --> 00:26:40.396] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Should I say that building the, you know, running these automation tests or [00:26:40.396 --> 00:26:43.999] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) whatever is a complete waste of my time? Or refactoring, you know, [00:26:43.999 --> 00:26:45.827] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) this old legacy code base is dumb. [00:26:46.947 --> 00:26:52.637] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) You have a moment of tension like, uh, you know what? I won't. Instead, [00:26:52.637 --> 00:26:58.564] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I encourage you to start viewing that initial moment of tension or fear or [00:26:58.564 --> 00:27:03.227] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) hesitancy again, or the urge to withdraw as a signpost for [00:27:03.227 --> 00:27:06.467] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) uh, here is a moment for personal growth. [00:27:06.627 --> 00:27:13.055] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Here's a challenge like and if you can move through it, I generally do it anyway. [00:27:13.055 --> 00:27:16.505] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Again, within reason. Don't do dumb things, [00:27:16.505 --> 00:27:22.227] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) but you view this as a sign is like a game that you are playing in life. [00:27:22.307 --> 00:27:25.259] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And for me, like, if you do this long enough, [00:27:25.259 --> 00:27:28.467] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I've begun to see the world and my life in it as. [00:27:30.307 --> 00:27:35.416] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) A puzzle, basically. It's a it is basically just the purpose I [00:27:35.416 --> 00:27:41.578] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) ascribe to my life in part is that I am here for challenges to for personal [00:27:41.578 --> 00:27:47.254] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) growth and that whatever problem I'm struggling with at the moment is [00:27:47.254 --> 00:27:48.227] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) essentially. [00:27:48.227 --> 00:27:52.575] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) The exact puzzle I need to be working on. It's always the one I need most, [00:27:52.575 --> 00:27:55.299] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) no matter what is wrong. If it's bothering me, [00:27:55.299 --> 00:28:00.052] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) that's because this is an opportunity to overcome it and to make it not a problem [00:28:00.052 --> 00:28:02.834] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) anymore. That's the nice part is every time you [00:28:02.834 --> 00:28:07.587] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) face these moments of discomfort or the urge to withdraw and you make it through. [00:28:07.667 --> 00:28:10.545] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) This is classic cognitive behavioral psychology. [00:28:10.545 --> 00:28:13.657] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) It becomes easier from then on. You become stronger. [00:28:13.657 --> 00:28:18.297] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) It literally doesn't bother you as much anymore until it doesn't bother you at [00:28:18.297 --> 00:28:20.881] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) all. And what used to hurt is now painless, [00:28:20.881 --> 00:28:23.347] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) and then you don't even notice it anymore. [00:28:23.427 --> 00:28:27.114] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So I would encourage you to view discomfort as a sort of game. [00:28:27.114 --> 00:28:29.865] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) You don't always have to take the opportunity, [00:28:29.865 --> 00:28:34.254] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) but each one is an opportunity to make your life a little bit easier and a [00:28:34.254 --> 00:28:35.307] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) little bit richer. [00:28:37.187 --> 00:28:42.299] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I think this is the last slide and that is the most important how to be values [00:28:42.299 --> 00:28:45.987] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) are unconditional. So just like I talked about believing [00:28:45.987 --> 00:28:51.033] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) that your work has unconditionally matters. What I do matters just full stop. [00:28:51.033 --> 00:28:53.427] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) It doesn't matter. No other outcomes. [00:28:54.147 --> 00:28:57.387] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And determine whether it was worth doing or not. [00:28:58.547 --> 00:29:03.460] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) There are many other unconditional values that are also worth adopting, [00:29:03.460 --> 00:29:09.124] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) and this is how at least I've had a major change in my quality of life and I think [00:29:09.124 --> 00:29:14.583] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) in the quality of my work and what I'm willing to do by adhering more to seeing [00:29:14.583 --> 00:29:18.267] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) my life less as a thing I plan out and I'm trying to. [00:29:18.547 --> 00:29:22.392] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Get right to a series of things that are happening to me, [00:29:22.392 --> 00:29:27.762] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) just like a stream flowing through me. My job is basically just to react well in [00:29:27.762 --> 00:29:31.606] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) every situation, and that one of the best ways to do that [00:29:31.606 --> 00:29:34.987] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) is with general unconditional values heuristic so. [00:29:35.267 --> 00:29:38.948] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) It is a decision to be unconditionally happy. That's a little hard. [00:29:38.948 --> 00:29:42.304] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Unconditionally OK. It is a that you can decide these things. [00:29:42.304 --> 00:29:46.689] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I can care about my work unconditionally, and there are many others that you can [00:29:46.689 --> 00:29:49.233] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) visit and this is not unconditional gratitude. [00:29:49.233 --> 00:29:53.563] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And these are just reminders of how to be in every moment and that I have found [00:29:53.563 --> 00:29:55.187] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) that framing my life this way. [00:29:55.267 --> 00:29:59.463] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) It makes every moment, especially the small, boring ones, [00:29:59.463 --> 00:30:05.179] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) significantly easier and much richer. And so I would encourage you to start at [00:30:05.179 --> 00:30:10.026] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) least experimenting with, rather than setting traditional goals to [00:30:10.026 --> 00:30:11.907] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) get what you want in life. [00:30:12.067 --> 00:30:16.351] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Try viewing life as a thing that is continually happening right here and now. [00:30:16.351 --> 00:30:19.866] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And then, for the most part, your goals are to try to adhere to [00:30:19.866 --> 00:30:23.436] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) important unconditional values, unconditional love, do whatever. [00:30:23.436 --> 00:30:26.018] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Pick whichever few make the most sense to you. [00:30:26.018 --> 00:30:30.027] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And now your goal in every moment is to react according to those values. [00:30:30.827 --> 00:30:35.606] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And see how profoundly it changes you and how you interact with everybody. [00:30:35.606 --> 00:30:40.448] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I think we'll end it there. There we go. Yeah, QA. So I'll end the sharing. [00:30:40.448 --> 00:30:44.907] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Does anyone have questions or comments? I know it's a long monologue. [00:30:56.187 --> 00:31:00.223] Prosceno, Chris (CAI - Atlanta) Hey, Stephen, I just wanted to quickly say thank you [00:31:00.223 --> 00:31:04.411] Prosceno, Chris (CAI - Atlanta) for this session. Very rare that we have these type of [00:31:04.411 --> 00:31:10.427] Prosceno, Chris (CAI - Atlanta) opportunities to have these types of discussions and deep meaning discussions. [00:31:10.947 --> 00:31:16.227] Prosceno, Chris (CAI - Atlanta) And I I'd hope that you can take this on the road on a road show through Cox Auto. [00:31:17.587 --> 00:31:18.347] Prosceno, Chris (CAI - Atlanta) Thank you. [00:31:17.827 --> 00:31:21.431] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I I wouldn't know who to talk to, but yeah, [00:31:21.431 --> 00:31:27.902] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) if you've got ideas for people want to hear the same talk again, by all means. [00:31:27.902 --> 00:31:29.867] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Thank you for saying so. [00:31:32.987 --> 00:31:33.387] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Hey, Josh. [00:31:33.907 --> 00:31:39.060] Reddick, Josh (CAI - Atlanta) Hey, Stephen. Long time, no chat. First, thanks. I thought this was great. [00:31:39.060 --> 00:31:44.487] Reddick, Josh (CAI - Atlanta) I had one question that that popped into my head while you were while you were [00:31:44.487 --> 00:31:49.227] Reddick, Josh (CAI - Atlanta) talking. So you know, you mentioned, you know, kind of being on a a. [00:31:50.307 --> 00:31:56.214] Reddick, Josh (CAI - Atlanta) Like a a bit of a low information diet, you know, which I totally, [00:31:56.214 --> 00:31:58.947] Reddick, Josh (CAI - Atlanta) I totally understand. And then. [00:32:00.067 --> 00:32:05.931] Reddick, Josh (CAI - Atlanta) And then also like that moment when something happens of pulling of like [00:32:05.931 --> 00:32:10.992] Reddick, Josh (CAI - Atlanta) wanting to pull away. And then there's kind of a triangle here [00:32:10.992 --> 00:32:15.009] Reddick, Josh (CAI - Atlanta) for me, the velocity at which everything seems to [00:32:15.009 --> 00:32:19.587] Reddick, Josh (CAI - Atlanta) be changing these days. How do you find balance between? [00:32:19.667 --> 00:32:26.061] Reddick, Josh (CAI - Atlanta) Not wanting to pull away, being on low information and still kind [00:32:26.061 --> 00:32:27.707] Reddick, Josh (CAI - Atlanta) of able to adapt. [00:32:30.547 --> 00:32:36.508] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) When the large language models really started popping off before the ChatGPT 3. [00:32:36.508 --> 00:32:42.393] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) 5 APII was like connected and a little after that maybe too hyper connected to [00:32:42.393 --> 00:32:46.938] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) the advancements. You know, every stupid Twitter influencer, [00:32:46.938 --> 00:32:50.067] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) literally anybody who had anything to say. [00:32:50.147 --> 00:32:53.963] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Just diving into all the old AI channels that I looked at. [00:32:53.963 --> 00:32:59.137] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I was just drinking from the fire hose and at some point I realized I have more [00:32:59.137 --> 00:33:03.276] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) information that I know what to do with. I'm not processing it, [00:33:03.276 --> 00:33:07.610] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I'm not actually using it. And then I began to change my heuristic [00:33:07.610 --> 00:33:10.067] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) for what to pay attention to based on. [00:33:10.267 --> 00:33:14.437] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Basically self-reflection of am I actually using the information I'm [00:33:14.437 --> 00:33:17.761] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) getting? Because if I'm not, it's actively detracting. [00:33:17.761 --> 00:33:21.326] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) It is like polluting like the work my subconscious can do. [00:33:21.326 --> 00:33:25.375] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) It is creating noise in my life. It's definitely stressing me out. [00:33:25.375 --> 00:33:29.907] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And I found that I kept reeling it back, basically less and less and less. [00:33:29.907 --> 00:33:34.993] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Until I got to a point where it's like I can check in like on topics I care about [00:33:34.993 --> 00:33:38.095] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) once a week, once every two weeks and feel like I [00:33:38.095 --> 00:33:41.072] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) didn't miss anything. And now when I come back, [00:33:41.072 --> 00:33:45.972] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I have much more energy to go in depth and I spend a lot more time doing stuff [00:33:45.972 --> 00:33:49.507] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) and I found that I had more to share and I learned more. [00:33:49.827 --> 00:33:52.432] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) By yeah, every now and then doing a surface check [00:33:52.432 --> 00:33:56.548] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) for what seemed interesting and but then I would go very deep and then I would [00:33:56.548 --> 00:34:00.767] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) insist on using that information in some way and that if I wasn't getting enough [00:34:00.767 --> 00:34:04.987] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) any information to do something with for long enough, I took that as a sign for. [00:34:05.187 --> 00:34:07.594] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) You know, this is basically vapid and I kind of [00:34:07.594 --> 00:34:11.404] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) just wanted the dopamine hit or I felt like I was having FOMO or something. [00:34:11.404 --> 00:34:14.211] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So I reeled it way back and haven't regretted it since. [00:34:14.211 --> 00:34:16.467] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) We'll hope that answers your question there. [00:34:16.067 --> 00:34:18.427] Reddick, Josh (CAI - Atlanta) Yeah, yeah, I think it does. Thanks. [00:34:20.227 --> 00:34:24.054] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Just try it. I think it'll surprise you how little is [00:34:24.054 --> 00:34:25.187] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) actually useful. [00:34:27.347 --> 00:34:32.727] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Anyone else? Questions. Comments. Got better ideas? I'm just one guy, [00:34:32.727 --> 00:34:38.107] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) so if you have other approaches that you want to share, by all means. [00:34:41.827 --> 00:34:44.928] Lassiter, Beth (CAI - Atlanta) I have a question, not an approach. How do you, [00:34:43.867 --> 00:34:44.027] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Sure. [00:34:44.928 --> 00:34:48.480] Lassiter, Beth (CAI - Atlanta) what does this daily practice look like for you? Like, [00:34:48.480 --> 00:34:53.518] Lassiter, Beth (CAI - Atlanta) are there certain touchstones that you have within your day that you're like, [00:34:53.518 --> 00:34:56.360] Lassiter, Beth (CAI - Atlanta) Oh yes, this is because it's so easy to get [00:34:56.360 --> 00:34:57.587] Lassiter, Beth (CAI - Atlanta) distracted of like. [00:34:57.987 --> 00:35:00.474] Lassiter, Beth (CAI - Atlanta) I am. I have so much experience doing things in [00:35:00.474 --> 00:35:03.738] Lassiter, Beth (CAI - Atlanta) ways I don't want to, right? So when you start a new behavior, [00:35:03.738 --> 00:35:06.950] Lassiter, Beth (CAI - Atlanta) it helps to have a little touch tone on what that looks like. [00:35:06.950 --> 00:35:09.747] Lassiter, Beth (CAI - Atlanta) So I was wondering what that looks like in your life. [00:35:12.067 --> 00:35:18.440] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) But for me, like I keep it simple. I have. I have a lot of systems and I've sort of [00:35:18.440 --> 00:35:23.448] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) torn a lot of them down. It's like self reform, self-improvement, [00:35:23.448 --> 00:35:28.227] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) junkie. I still do it, but now I just have less rigid systems. [00:35:28.307 --> 00:35:32.262] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I still have my spreadsheet that has all of my like rules and like habits and [00:35:32.262 --> 00:35:34.847] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) stuff in it. I don't really look at this very much [00:35:34.847 --> 00:35:37.382] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) anymore. So now it's distilled down to just a few [00:35:37.382 --> 00:35:40.373] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) things to remember, and the most important of which that's [00:35:40.373 --> 00:35:44.124] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) relevant to this is meditation. I do at least an hour of meditation every [00:35:44.124 --> 00:35:47.267] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) day, sometimes up to two, depends on whether I can fit it in. [00:35:47.347 --> 00:35:51.086] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) What's going on? But this is, you don't have to do that much, [00:35:51.086 --> 00:35:56.092] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) but I I do that because it has made such a profound effect on my lived experience. [00:35:56.092 --> 00:36:01.037] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) The half-life of feeling good after that is incredible and it that's what gets me [00:36:01.037 --> 00:36:03.027] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) back to zero, like a reset point. [00:36:03.587 --> 00:36:07.326] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Of oh, my nervous system is good. Like I'm fine staring at a wall. [00:36:07.326 --> 00:36:11.622] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And that's really the benchmark is if you can't sit in a chair. I literally, [00:36:11.622 --> 00:36:14.803] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I call this the chair test again, just to remind myself, [00:36:14.803 --> 00:36:18.987] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) if I can't sit in a chair and stare at a wall for 5 minutes and not be OK. [00:36:19.187 --> 00:36:23.263] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Then I'm not OK. Like, that's the problem. It's it's on the inside, like, [00:36:23.263 --> 00:36:26.733] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) and that's what I need to do. Amusingly, that is also the fix, [00:36:26.733 --> 00:36:31.029] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) is to just sit in the chair until you're good. And it doesn't take that long. [00:36:31.029 --> 00:36:34.829] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And then you approach the rest of the day fundamentally differently. [00:36:34.829 --> 00:36:36.867] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So that is a huge cornerstone for me. [00:36:37.107 --> 00:36:40.664] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Even and it. So I began to see meditation less as a [00:36:40.664 --> 00:36:44.083] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) sense of something to do, like another checklist, [00:36:44.083 --> 00:36:48.871] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) another thing I have to do. But I began to really internalize it as a [00:36:48.871 --> 00:36:52.427] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) way to remember what it's like to be normal and OK. [00:36:53.067 --> 00:36:57.555] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And content no matter what is happening. And then that becomes a sort of set point [00:36:57.555 --> 00:36:58.907] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) for everything else I do. [00:37:03.667 --> 00:37:06.620] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I don't know if that fully answers your question, [00:37:06.620 --> 00:37:11.168] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) but the rest of this stuff is like keeping it top of mind and a lot of it is [00:37:11.168 --> 00:37:14.594] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) just done in the moment. They're pretty simple practices. [00:37:14.594 --> 00:37:18.137] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I like the journal, but it's really not a list of things to [00:37:18.137 --> 00:37:20.027] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) do so much it is you have to be. [00:37:20.547 --> 00:37:23.382] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) To hold the belief and believe it is worth doing. [00:37:23.382 --> 00:37:27.634] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And then life gives you the practice. It's not like an extra thing you do. [00:37:27.634 --> 00:37:31.489] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) You can keep going to meetings, you can keep going in the elevator. [00:37:31.489 --> 00:37:35.854] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) You can keep filling out time sheets, like do all the things you already do, [00:37:35.854 --> 00:37:36.307] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) but now. [00:37:36.547 --> 00:37:40.662] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) There's this added layer of a game that you're playing with yourself, [00:37:40.662 --> 00:37:44.482] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) where you're trying to bring these values into all of your work. [00:37:44.482 --> 00:37:47.950] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) You're trying to lean in heavily and do something quality. [00:37:47.950 --> 00:37:51.947] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Not because anyone makes you to, not because you expect an outcome. [00:37:52.707 --> 00:37:57.592] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Because it's a sort of game with yourself, because you have to be here one way or [00:37:57.592 --> 00:37:58.307] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) another and. [00:37:59.947 --> 00:38:02.568] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) It's sort of more fun and more interesting, right? [00:38:02.568 --> 00:38:06.217] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) It's not an extra thing you do. It's a it's a different way of viewing [00:38:06.217 --> 00:38:08.067] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) and doing the things you already do. [00:38:14.907 --> 00:38:15.387] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Cool. [00:38:18.067 --> 00:38:21.253] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Any other questions or comments? Don't feel like you got to stick around. [00:38:21.253 --> 00:38:23.147] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I think we're we're at a bad time here, so. [00:38:25.507 --> 00:38:30.753] Irwin, Jeremy (CAI - Utah) Hey Stephen, I I joined late, but I like what I I I like what I heard [00:38:30.753 --> 00:38:36.074] Irwin, Jeremy (CAI - Utah) during the time that I did join. Like I cut out social media like many [00:38:36.074 --> 00:38:41.620] Irwin, Jeremy (CAI - Utah) years ago and I'd find that I'm not distracted really by much of anything [00:38:41.620 --> 00:38:44.467] Irwin, Jeremy (CAI - Utah) besides what I I want to focus on and. [00:38:44.467 --> 00:38:50.759] Irwin, Jeremy (CAI - Utah) I think I'm definitely not as maybe practiced as as you are in some of the [00:38:50.759 --> 00:38:57.050] Irwin, Jeremy (CAI - Utah) some of your your daily practices, but when I I think when I when I when I [00:38:57.050 --> 00:39:01.747] Irwin, Jeremy (CAI - Utah) realized that things are gonna happen regardless of of. [00:39:01.867 --> 00:39:08.026] Irwin, Jeremy (CAI - Utah) What I what I do or there's some level of of acceptance or I can only control my [00:39:08.026 --> 00:39:12.209] Irwin, Jeremy (CAI - Utah) own reactions, not other others reactions to a certain [00:39:12.209 --> 00:39:17.227] Irwin, Jeremy (CAI - Utah) situation like it certainly allows you to like step back and not. [00:39:17.587 --> 00:39:21.667] Irwin, Jeremy (CAI - Utah) Be like emotionally heated in any sort of moment. [00:39:24.747 --> 00:39:29.253] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Yeah, that's the way. I don't think you give yourself enough [00:39:29.253 --> 00:39:35.162] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) credit. That's and yet you're never done. But it's it's just a different way of [00:39:35.162 --> 00:39:38.707] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) viewing life I think we would all benefit from. [00:39:39.667 --> 00:39:43.583] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Being more careful about what we choose to care about. I mean, paradoxically, [00:39:43.583 --> 00:39:46.445] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) I think that we're taking in so much information. Again, [00:39:46.445 --> 00:39:50.109] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) like I mentioned with attention, like you cannot help but care about it. [00:39:50.109 --> 00:39:53.774] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) This is how the human brain works. If it if it's coming in the aperture, [00:39:53.774 --> 00:39:56.987] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) it's affecting you on some level and probably quite profoundly. [00:39:57.427 --> 00:39:59.808] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And so the less, the tighter your aperture, [00:39:59.808 --> 00:40:02.459] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) like the more caring you can give to everything. [00:40:02.459 --> 00:40:06.787] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Like whether you're going to a Little League game or you're just like writing a [00:40:06.787 --> 00:40:10.412] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) report or whatever you're doing, they may seem like small moments, [00:40:10.412 --> 00:40:13.387] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) but you have more capacity to care about those things. [00:40:13.827 --> 00:40:18.805] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) And you know, again, paradoxically, those are the most important things in [00:40:18.805 --> 00:40:23.783] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) your life. It is small, boring moments. That's basically almost all it is. [00:40:23.783 --> 00:40:26.770] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) But it kind of stops being small and boring, [00:40:26.770 --> 00:40:31.747] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) and it does get imbued with this extra like weight of meaning and purpose. [00:40:31.947 --> 00:40:35.780] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) As you withdraw from the things that really didn't matter to you, [00:40:35.780 --> 00:40:39.380] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) and you don't need to feel any guilt about doing that either. [00:40:39.380 --> 00:40:42.747] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So sounds like you're doing a good job to me. Keep it up. [00:40:41.827 --> 00:40:45.707] Irwin, Jeremy (CAI - Utah) I like your talk. Good Good work. Thank you. [00:40:50.627 --> 00:40:52.427] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Anybody else? [00:40:54.947 --> 00:40:57.427] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Questions, comments or there's some chat? [00:40:59.587 --> 00:41:01.876] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Cool. I was probably more peppy in the first [00:41:01.876 --> 00:41:04.267] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) talk. I guess giving two is pretty tiring, so. [00:41:04.907 --> 00:41:07.492] Davis, Andrew (CAI - Burlington) It is tiring. Thanks for doing it back-to-back. [00:41:07.492 --> 00:41:09.107] Davis, Andrew (CAI - Burlington) I really appreciate the topic. [00:41:09.787 --> 00:41:09.867] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Oh. [00:41:10.427 --> 00:41:11.067] Davis, Andrew (CAI - Burlington) Well done. [00:41:11.467 --> 00:41:11.547] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Uh. [00:41:11.947 --> 00:41:16.972] Miller, Jay (CAI - Mission) Hey, Stephen, and I'll let the group know. I actually attended your first session, [00:41:14.347 --> 00:41:14.467] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Yeah. [00:41:16.972 --> 00:41:20.544] Miller, Jay (CAI - Mission) enjoyed it so much. And when you said in the first session [00:41:20.544 --> 00:41:24.297] Miller, Jay (CAI - Mission) you were going to cover some of the second-half of the stuff, [00:41:24.297 --> 00:41:28.777] Miller, Jay (CAI - Mission) I wanted to join the second session. So I want to at least tell the group [00:41:28.777 --> 00:41:29.987] Miller, Jay (CAI - Mission) that's watching now. [00:41:30.067 --> 00:41:34.421] Miller, Jay (CAI - Mission) I hope both of your recordings are available because if they are, [00:41:34.421 --> 00:41:39.500] Miller, Jay (CAI - Mission) I would encourage you guys to watch his first talk as well because there was [00:41:39.500 --> 00:41:44.513] Miller, Jay (CAI - Mission) there's a little bit of different talk and there was also some great Q& [00:41:44.513 --> 00:41:48.932] Miller, Jay (CAI - Mission) A session at the end of it. So I I think this is this is what been [00:41:48.932 --> 00:41:49.987] Miller, Jay (CAI - Mission) one of the best. [00:41:50.067 --> 00:41:55.107] Miller, Jay (CAI - Mission) One of the best topics I've enjoyed very much, so thanks for putting it up. [00:41:57.227 --> 00:42:01.123] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Absolutely. Thanks, Jay. I appreciate that. Yeah, take it, [00:42:01.123 --> 00:42:04.557] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) make it better. It's just that's how culture works. [00:42:04.557 --> 00:42:08.849] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) It's just one person. So I think everyone's got their own ideas, [00:42:08.849 --> 00:42:12.151] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) their own spinning, important iterations on life. [00:42:12.151 --> 00:42:16.707] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) So I encourage hopefully everybody else to to share their ideas too. [00:42:16.787 --> 00:42:19.930] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) That's what makes it work. There was somebody who had a hand up. [00:42:19.930 --> 00:42:22.347] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Was it Chris? I don't know if they're still here. [00:42:24.147 --> 00:42:25.307] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Oh well. [00:42:29.147 --> 00:42:29.307] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) No. [00:42:30.907 --> 00:42:31.547] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) All right. [00:42:32.587 --> 00:42:36.927] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) There's no further questions. I'm going to end the recording. [00:42:36.927 --> 00:42:38.187] Schrembeck, Steven (CAI - Atlanta) Thanks for coming.
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