The Summoner's Rulebook: Episode 1

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The Summoner's Rulebook: Episode 1
Source: collected/036-the-summoner-s-rulebook-episode-1.mp3
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Model: scribe_v2 | Transcribed: 2026-10-10T18:17:30.396364+00:00
Machine transcript — uncorrected. Speaker labels are local to this recording and do not identify people.

[00:00:00.100] Speaker 1: [piano music] [thunder] The Summoner's Rulebook. One: Never

[00:00:35.220] Speaker 1: break the bond. Written in the margins, "Can you hand off bonds to others? Hmm, needs investigation." [metal gate opening] Kelter pulled on the metal gate to hell. "This the place?" "Yeah." The kid's accent was a charming Southern drawl coated in ten years of grime. It was ragged and dirty. Everything about him was dirty. "Good, now get out of here." "Okay." The kid looked at his feet and shuffled around.

[00:01:10.380] Speaker 1: Kelter growled and turned to look at him in the eye. He took a deep breath of smoggy night air. Might be his last for a while. A long while, if he wasn't careful. "And yet, your feet ain't moving." The kid's head snapped up and met his eyes. Hard eyes always looked wrong on a young face. Never made his job easier. "I can help you. I know these tunnels. It's my home." His accent was getting thicker as he sped up. Kelter pulled open the gate and

[00:01:45.440] Speaker 1: looked down a vertical shaft. Warm, putrid air wafted upward like the belch of some concrete beast. He heard the kid shuffle in beside him. [sighs] When someone was trying damn hard to get into trouble, sometimes it was best just to let them do it under supervision. "What's your name? Where are you from?" "Sterling, and nowhere." "Then you should go back to nowhere, Sterling, because this isn't your home anymore. If you come down here, you're just another corpse for me to clean

[00:02:20.280] Speaker 1: up." Sterling's eyes glinted. The narrow whites of his eyes set brightly against his dark face. "They were my friends. I can help you find it." "Fine." Then he swung down onto the ladder and descended into darkness. What was another stain on his soul, anyway? [footsteps] The tunnels beneath New Terrace were surprisingly spacious. That was because New Terrace had been built directly on top

[00:02:55.260] Speaker 1: of Old Terrace. Most cities had an undercity of some kind, but in New Terrace, it was a very literal undercity. Kelter had never been to this part before, near the industrial plants. They dumped a lot of caustic waste down here. Not even criminals would live here. "Nice place, Sterling." Kelter ran his hands along the walls, feeling for something unusual. It was a long shot, but most times you found your quarry by connecting a thousand tiny clues instead of finding one big one, and it was always quarry and never

[00:03:30.280] Speaker 1: prey. Nothing he hunted down could rightly be called prey. "Say that again and I'll hit you." There was no malice in Sterling's words. Kelter had offered an insult, and the man had responded with consequences. It didn't matter that Kelter could decimate him. It didn't matter that he was defending a pigsty. He had to say it. The way Sterling lived, if someone thought you were weak, you were weak, and if you were weak, well... "Sorry." Nothing else needed to be said. Kelter finished his

[00:04:05.200] Speaker 1: inspection. There was nothing on the walls. Kelter turned around and raised his lantern so he could see the other man's face. The orange light played off the dark stone in ways that cast odd shadows everywhere. You would think this many years in the business would give him nerves of steel, but in fact, it was the opposite. Experience had taught him there was everything to fear in the darkness. He stilled his heart with effort. "Take me to where the monster killed your friends." Kelter knew they were in the right place even before Sterling spoke. The

[00:04:40.080] Speaker 1: tang of iron and the smell of feces hit his nose. "It was here. Crazy thing came right out of the darkness over there." Sterling pointed a shaky arm at the other end of the room. "Started pulling us through the door, one by one. Freakiest thing I'd ever seen." Kelter listened to his story, mentally taking notes of every detail. He tried to imagine the creature, tried to understand what it wanted. In this case, it was pretty simple. It wanted to kill. Most of them did. Still, he took it all in. What the

[00:05:15.080] Speaker 1: creature wanted was always a reflection of what the person who brought it here wanted. The room was covered in blood and little pieces of people. Their meager belongings had been scattered everywhere in the attack. Nothing larger than stew meat was left. "I hid under that box there." He pointed at a cardboard box in the corner. "I listened to it chewing on my friends." Kelter just nodded. Now that the kid's story was over, he let the silence stretch. You'd be surprised what extra details

[00:05:49.960] Speaker 1: people offered up just to fill that silence. "So... you really wanna find that thing? Why?" "Part of the job. I hunt monsters." You gonna kill it? Maybe. I'll banish it if I can. I'll kill it if I can't. Of course, there was a third option, too. It could just kill him. He was flesh and blood like anyone else. Kelter leaned against the blood-smeared wall behind him and set his lantern down. He lit a cigarette. I figure a little piece of trash summoner brought

[00:06:24.932] Speaker 1: a couple bums down here. Wanted to test out his control on some real people. People no one would miss. Probably before trying something bigger. He kicked a chunk of human across the room with his boot. The victims were almost always people no one cared about. Almost no one, anyway. It was the people way down on their luck that always got hurt the most. He took a long, slow draw of his cigarette. Sterling started shuffling around uncomfortably. Understandable. He was standing on the remains of his friends.

[00:07:00.892] Speaker 1: From the sound of it, he should have been among them. Kelter watched him carefully. You just gonna stand there? Yeah. Then he put his free hand behind his back as casually as he could. Sterling seemed to be unwilling to move closer. You said banish. What's banish? Kelter blew some smoke and waved it away with his cigarette hand. Disappear. How you do that? Well, the thing that killed

[00:07:35.912] Speaker 1: your friends will disappear when I kill the person who brought it here. Another silence fell between them. You said you hunted monsters. An accusation. Kelter closed his eyes. This was always the hardest part. Best just to get it done. I did say that. He took another long drag of his cigarette, but didn't blow it out. The tension was a dry tree branch, bending, bending.

[00:08:10.612] Speaker 1: Sterling stepped backwards out of the lantern light. Kelter saw hard eyes on a young face, slipping into the darkness. I thought you were trying to help me. Kelter blew out the smoke and took a wide step to the left. Sorry, kid. A low, agonized groan shook the wall behind him. Iger was a fast summon. The mortar in the wall was a good conduit. The mud behind the wall, even better. The wall cracked and split open. A river of warm, dark red blood spilled

[00:08:45.612] Speaker 1: from the crack. Kelter heard Sterling running out of the room as the first bloody appendage broke through the stone womb behind him. Find him. Kill him. Kill yourself after. The words weren't necessary, but he always found it easier to command out loud. He snatched up a lantern and took off after Sterling. Yeah? Screw you, too. Something the size of a car pounded out of the room and leapt over

[00:09:20.652] Speaker 1: him into the darkness, barely clearing his head. A rain of warm blood from the summoning splattered his back. It landed, kicking little bits of shrapnel into the air. He saw the Iger twitch once and lunge in his direction. Plucky one. He narrowed his eyes and jabbed it with his will. The beast shivered, tried to speak again, but Kelter felt the bond fall completely into place. I won't tell you again. The Iger leapt out of his lantern light and in the direction Sterling had run, sending little tremors through the stones each time it landed. Kelter didn't bother tracking the man.

[00:09:55.272] Speaker 1: Instead, he followed the summon. Igers worked well in darkness. They were easy to bully, too. No time for a contest down here. Kelter ran at full speed down the dark tunnel. Putrid water rushed in a river between the two walkways on either side. Each breath of air was heavy, dank. A man screamed ahead. A series of long, horrible sounds rising in pitch each time. A tremor shook the walls. A wet, meaty sound as a person was reduced to a stain on the wall.

[00:10:30.252] Speaker 1: Kelter slowed and bowed his head. It was over. Then he felt the bond break. What the? Electric blue light filled the tunnel. Heavy footsteps approaching. Kelter felt again for the bond to his Iger. It was gone. In his experience, if the summon died, the summoner quickly followed. He was a master summoner. But he wasn't just a master summoner. He was a closer. A good one, too. There were no special rules for summoners except

[00:11:05.172] Speaker 1: one. In the eyes of the law, and more importantly, in the eyes of the family, whatever your summon did, you did. Whatever it did. That was the deal. If you brought a monster into this world, you were responsible for what it did. And most importantly, you were responsible for sending it back. And if you didn't, or couldn't, because you brought in something bigger and badder than you could control, well, that's when they would call someone like Kelter. If you couldn't close the circle, the family would. For twenty-one

[00:11:40.052] Speaker 1: years, he'd kept his kind in check. Amateurs like Sterling, mostly. People with a little talent, but not enough sense. Just people who got in over their heads. Either way, the circle always closed. It was a hard truth, but a necessary one. Right now, all twenty-one years of experience were screaming at him to do one thing. Run. His feet hit the cobblestones without another moment's hesitation. He ran fast, but not so fast that he fell. He'd caught his own fair share of runners after a fall. The lantern swung

[00:12:15.104] Speaker 1: around wildly. A warbling scream shook the passage behind him. Electric blue light lit the passage. His heart hammered, but he didn't dare to look back. There, up ahead, was a narrow tunnel. He flung his lantern against the far wall on the other side of the Piss River and slipped quietly into the tunnel. He had to turn sideways just to fit. Kelter closed his eyes and shuffled quickly but quietly through the tightening space. It wasn't very deep, but it wasn't like he had a lot of options. Electric blue light lit up the sewer beyond his

[00:12:49.984] Speaker 1: hiding spot. Kelter pushed himself deeper into the crack. He felt his chest unable to expand. His shallow breathing quickened, straining for air. Still, he pushed himself deeper into the darkness. Then he held his breath and went still, ignoring the animal part of his brain still screaming for air. Long tendrils slipped into his view. Each tendril was as thick as his leg and covered in layered chitin, like the body of a millipede. Bright blue lights pulsed at their tips. The lights flared, and then the tendrils darted into another direction to flare the lights again.

[00:13:25.504] Speaker 1: More tendrils slipped into view. They licked at the air with their lights, slid along the ground. Some even dipped briefly into the sewer sludge, searching. Kelter closed his eyes. It was only a matter of time until they wormed their way into his little hiding place. Then he would be plucked out and turned into stew meat, just like Sterling's friends had been. That lying sack of... He could try to summon something bigger. That would take time, though, and it wouldn't be quiet. He could try to control this thing with his own will, but that was even

[00:14:00.564] Speaker 1: worse. Will-breaking a summon was an academic exercise only. Anyone who thought otherwise had never tried it while staring down a monster's throat through its open mouth. So sure, if whatever horror Sterling had called up would just sit pretty for 30 minutes while he mentally wrestled it, he might be able to will-break it. After that, he could make it dance and cook him breakfast. But it didn't matter because it wasn't going to happen. Kelter felt a little tickle in his chest. His body was betraying him. Any second now, he'd cough. Well,

[00:14:36.044] Speaker 1: he figured he may as well go out with a bang then. He made connection with the mortar and the mud behind the walls and started forcing his will into the material. A curious tendril found the other end of his hiding spot and started sneaking inside. Ah, blood and guts. Here we go. A blinding blue light pulsed a foot from his face. He screamed. It wasn't bad. A warrior's scream. Maybe. He'd heard far worse as he watched people die. Maybe he would still hear worse. Fortunately, it wouldn't last long.

[00:15:10.244] Speaker 1: "Stop. Sterling, just call it off. I'll make it disappear. Please." [crying] Kelter tried to yell, but he wasn't capable of yelling anymore. Instead, it came out as a desperate, wheezing plea. It sounded much more like the dying words he was used to hearing. Something grabbed his leg and pulled. He felt something crack in his ankle under the tremendous pressure. More tendrils reached into the crack, pulling him free in violent tugs. He let his grip on the stones slip, knowing his fingernails

[00:15:45.124] Speaker 1: would come off if he didn't. As soon as he lost contact with the wall and the summoning inside it, all hell broke loose. When you stopped a summoning, it wasn't like what happened in the stories. A little puff of purple smoke, some sparkles maybe. An explosion of gore detonated through the wall. [explosion] A wave of stone and flesh and blood pressed him to the ground, and Sterling and his monster were swept into the nearby sewer river. It was an old trick, something learned from an old

[00:16:20.184] Speaker 1: friend, someone far, far better than him. Deafened by the partial summoning but prepared for it, he acted on instinct. Kelter ignored the scrambling mass of limbs and tentacles and grabbed the floundering man instead. He lifted Sterling's shoulders just far enough out of the stinking river to put a knife to his throat. A small knife, but large enough. "Tell it that if you die, it dies too." "I- I know. Do it." The creature finally pulled itself out of the current. For the first time, Kelter got a good look

[00:16:55.224] Speaker 1: at it. It was big. A long, slender body with a mane of glowing tendrils. Its head had no discernible eyes, just a triangular snout that opened to reveal countless jagged teeth. A mouth, then. Whatever it was, it was a killing tool, plain and simple. It wasn't advancing, though, and that was something. "It doesn't believe you." Good. If he could understand at all, then the bond wasn't totally broken. "Yeah? Let's find out." He pressed the knife harder against Sterling's neck until a thin

[00:17:30.004] Speaker 1: line of red ran down. The creature stepped backward with eerie grace. Kelter cursed inwardly. It was smart. Never a good thing. "Now we talk. How did you summon it?" "I don't know." "Try again." "It, it came to me in a dream and told me. I don't know. Don't kill me, man. I didn't mean to. I don't know. I swear I don't know. They were my friends." Of all the things he'd heard a dying summoner say, this had to be the most bizarre. It

[00:18:04.964] Speaker 1: came to him in a dream? That was like claiming you'd received the complete blueprints for a flying car in your dreams and then had gone on to construct it. And yet, here was his flying car. Kelter tightened his grip on the knife. However fantastic the story, it still only ended one way. The circle always closed. Sorry, kid. Kelter lifted the hood of his trench coat and pulled on the car door handle. He winced as he put weight on the ankle. The door

[00:18:39.868] Speaker 1: handle popped off with a crack, and the car door slowly opened on its own. Piece of junk. He could get it fixed now, though. Hell, he could replace the whole car now. He got out of his car and walked across the rain-swept streets. It was still early morning, but the bounty station was lit up like a diner. Some business never stopped. A grim reminder that his enemies, his real enemies, never stopped working. It didn't matter how good you got. It didn't matter how determined you were. You couldn't outwork the family.

[00:19:14.788] Speaker 1: Kelter pulled open the front door and briefly considered letting his coat drip all over the floor. It was petty defiance and misdirected. These people did the family's work, but blood and guts, so did he. Everyone did. He hung the coat instead and approached the plate glass. The cast around his foot clicked on the tile floor. A familiar face lit up on the other side. Hey, Kelter. Didn't think we'd see you again. Slide your papers through. Jenny opened the little metal door in the plate glass, and he slid his report through. Honestly, I didn't think I'd be

[00:19:49.608] Speaker 1: back after that one. Well, we're glad to see you. Okay, looks good. Say the oaths, and I'll get you on your way. Kelter hesitated, and Jenny looked up. Not a good time to hesitate. I swear the circle has been closed. She raised an eyebrow but didn't comment, thankfully. His reputation was worth something at this station, which is exactly why he came here. Sorry about your ankle.

[00:20:24.628] Speaker 1: It happens. Cast comes off in two months. Any casualties? All in the report, but nothing I caused, except, you know. Jenny nodded once, then counted out a stack of bills on the other side of the glass, slid them into a manila envelope, and opened the door to slide the payment through. On behalf of the family, thank you for your service. He hated that line. He'd always hated it, even before he hated them. Kelter didn't kill for them. He never had. Kelter?

[00:21:00.588] Speaker 1: Kelter, is something wrong? No, nothing's wrong. And yet he just stood there. I can recount the money if you'd like. The terms were set when you took the contract, but you've been good to us. Do you want me to get Derek? Yeah, that'd be good. Okay, come on back. Jenny's high heels clicked, and then the heavy locking mechanisms behind the wooden door clanked and turned. Jenny smiled warmly at him. There were volumes of questions written in that

[00:21:35.488] Speaker 1: smile, though, but he didn't answer them. Couldn't answer them. This was not business as usual. He'd come to this station for a reason. Mostly because he might walk back out of it alive. Maybe. The contract manager leaned back in his chair, and it made a tortured sound. His office was warmly lit, clean, and fresh-smelling. Wood paneling and plush green carpet. Real hardwood furniture and blinds. It was just enough to give the impression of wealth and power, but not so much that he hit you over the

[00:22:10.388] Speaker 1: head with it. Derek drummed his fingers on the desk while Jenny set the contract payment between the two of them like a live bomb, then rushed out, still smiling as she closed the office door. They would all be smiling right until the very end. Is it the money? It's not the money. You know, most closers don't have a problem with this part, Kelter. Job's not done till you take the money. You know that. Listen. He leaned forward in his chair and whispered instead.

[00:22:45.228] Speaker 1: Listen. I say you turned in the wrong papers. I still have to hire another closer, but I'll get someone slow or someone you trust. But if you run, I have to put the hit out. You understand? Kelter laughed once. It was laced with sarcasm. Derek was taking a huge risk giving him an out. Risking everything, really. Something stirred inside Kelter. That something always got him in trouble. Derek pounded his desk once in frustration. His face was turning red.

[00:23:20.528] Speaker 1: I closed the circle, Derek. Of course, of course. I'm not saying you didn't. Then he slid the money envelope forward another inch. So take the money. The sound of boots and chains echoed down the hallway outside. A lot of boots. Take the money, James. Kelter reached for the envelope, but couldn't quite pick it up. He just couldn't. He could fight his way out. That wouldn't end well. Every bit of material in this place was fabricated to

[00:23:55.508] Speaker 1: be a terrible conduit. It'd take him 20 minutes to summon something. I don't care if you throw it in the damn sewer the moment you leave, but take the money, James. A baritone voice was talking to Jenny. The line of boots had stopped just outside the office. Kelter spared a glance for the door. I will know He's in here, but give me just a second. I know that we can come to some resolution. Was she trying to stop them? That was beyond reckless. And so was this. The office door flew open. A man with a chin like a

[00:24:30.212] Speaker 1: mountain stared fire and hatred at Kelter. His uniform was tidy, covered in little gleaming badges. Kelter sighed, then he picked up the envelope of money. He walked past the man and gave him a friendly pat on the shoulder. Sorry about that, Buford. I thought I was getting stiffed. Turns out, I just can't count. Buford growled back at him. Not unlike the prisoners he kept, really. You just couldn't see his chains. Kelter looked down at the money in his hand.

[00:25:05.292] Speaker 1: They all had chains. He'd killed a lot of people, but he wasn't willing to kill his friends. As he left, he made a point of not looking back at the half-men chained together in the hallway behind him. They reminded him too much of himself. Jenny was standing next to her desk when he got back to the entrance. She shook fiercely. I'm sorry, Jenny. Don't ever do that again. Then she turned sharply and walked away. James Kelter closed his eyes and bowed his head. He'd failed today.

[00:25:40.652] Speaker 1: He'd failed and almost gotten two good people killed in the process. Don't think I'll get the chance to do it

[00:25:48.012] Speaker 1: again.