{"language_code":"eng","language_probability":0.9748079180717468,"text":"[instrumental music] Reality 101 is a journal of impossible experiences, from first-hand explorations into the nature of reality, what it means for all of us, and how you can experience it yourself. I'm Stephen Schrimbeck. I'm Joshua Swenson, and today we'll be exploring Reality 101. This is both the name of the series and the starting point, an experience where Stephen was lectured on how it all works on a very basic level when consciousness is the foundation of reality. But before we get into that, I just wanted to check in with you, Stephen. How are you arriving today? I'm arriving pretty darn good. Had a great meditation this morning. It's a weird one. Uh, th- a lot of them are weird ones these days. [chuckles] Uh, we'll get into some of that later. But I'm coming in feeling pretty, pretty playful. I'm really excited to, to start sharing [chuckles] these stories. I've-- Like I've told you, I've got-- felt like I've been walking around with a golden tome, a couple tomes at this point. I just wanna get it out, s- so I feel, uh, like this is a, a form of catharsis for me. Hmm. Cool. Yeah, I'm excited about this too, and, um, yeah, I haven't done collaboration like this before, so, uh, I feel like it's a really exciting time, uh, stepping into this. And the other thing I wanted to check in about is just that since I've met you and since I've been doing some of the practices that you've introduced me to, some Mindsight training, some psi wheel spinning, things like that, sticking coins to walls- Mm-hmm ... I've just been feeling like I'm stepping into such a strange world. Like, I've always hoped and believed that this stuff was real. I used to, you know, I studied Buddhism many years ago, and Hindu- Hinduism, and yoga, and, um, I was always fascinated with the yogic superpowers, the siddhis, and I think that's maybe part of why I wanted to meditate. You're a wizard, Joshua. I've been, I've been meditating for 20 years because I've wanted to float, you know? [laughs] And now it's like, holy shit, are we really in the Matrix? And so I've been having some- It's better than that ... I've been having some s- really strange dreams, which I know you've talked about as you were, you know, stepping into the, some of the stuff. A little unsettling, and I feel like I'm approaching this big threshold crossing. I've been, you know, across many thresholds in my own journey of awakening and, uh, self-transformation. [lip smack] Uh, and yeah, this is a big one. So, um, our, our mutual friend Kate and I are, uh, talking to Stephen's other friend, Miguel, about ho- hosting a private, uh, Mindsight session. So- That is seeing without eyeballs ... I'm looking forward to that. Yes, seeing without eyeballs. Mm-hmm. Kate had some incredible breakthroughs when we, uh, did a little training the other day, and so it's just exciting. It's, like, exciting to see people I know making these breakthroughs and to, yeah, to just be witnessing you and your s- your journey. So... And that being said, I'm, yeah, I'm curious now we can, to dive in on this experience, Reality 101. How did this begin for you? Yeah. Now, before I, I get into it, it was-- I'm glad that you mention that because this is real. Like, [chuckles] the things I'm about to say are stories, and they're profound, and they're exciting and hopefully, you know, entertaining and captivating. It was for me, but this happened to me. Um, and it is now happening to you, some version of this, and that is the whole purpose of this series, is sharing this so that people can understand their own reality and make sense of it, but also, uh, learn how to do it yourselves. So, [chuckles] without further ado, uh, let's pick up where we left off after the prior episode. So I am sure- Oh, we'll just say-- Sorry. We'll just say that we recorded a prior conversation on my other podcast, \"Ruptures and Roots,\" uh, where Stephen talks about his backstory and what led him into this, uh, journey. So you can-- If you'd like to hear that, you can tune in there, and we'll include a link in the show notes. Now, getting back to it. So let's dive in. Yeah, you need that context. So at this point, what I'm gonna talk about is one of the most insane and profound things that had ever happened to me. Uh, even now, I, I've experienced things like it since then. Uh, but it really [chuckles] does have to be described. In a-- To put it in a, on an index card, one evening five months ago, I was shown how reality works at a very low level in a lecture-type setting, um, by somebody who is not physical and walked me through the 101 of how consciousness and matter and everything exists, [chuckles] how it all works, where it came from more or less as far as we're related, how, how this is happening. And, um, I was able to ask any questions I wanted, and I got all the answers that I asked. Um, so that's what we're gonna get into. So picking it up from there, I go to sleep the night prior, and I knew that I was going to talk to somebody. I just-- Like, I had had the intuition, but at this point, whatever, right? You know. I go to sleep. I wake up, and where we left off from our prior interview is I wake up in a state where I am laying in my bed. I am awake. Call these liminal states, just falling asleep or waking up. Part of you is awake, so I can get up out of bed. Like, I'm conscious. But part of you is still not quite fully self-conscious. You're not attached to the world yet, right? Kinda like a daydream. And I get a little nudge from someone familiar. At this point in my story, telepathy is, like, a thing that happens. But it's messy, right? I, 70 per- 80% of the time I can't tell whether they're my thoughts or not. It's, you know, it's pretty frustrating, honestly. Uh, and sometimes it's very clear. I get a little nudge, almost like your phone ringing. Imagine it's like somebody's waiting there, they wanna talk to you. You just know that they're waiting there. So I pick up the call. Normally this is like verbal thoughts. We do a little back and forth, \"Hey, how are you?\" You know, it feels a little like talking to yourself and you kind of humor it. I pick up the call. It is a very much different call this time. Um, I get visuals immediately. It is like somebody is writing into your imagination. So imagine seeing something like an apple on a table. Now imagine an apple on the table appears in your visual imagination right now, and you are not making it happen. You're not trying to make it happen. You're not doing anything, and it's stable, and it's like somebody's playing a movie. Like, you're the projector and they're shining a movie onto you. And there's a person there, and she's a girl, and she is, as I described in our prior interview, like my twin, my soul twin sister. And she's always existed. I knew who she was. She's familiar. I had been getting thoughts and feelings from this person for months, and I'd been denying it for a long time. At this point I was on board, but I never thought I would actually, like, meet them or see them. And so I am-- My eyes are closed and I'm trying not to focus on my body because I feel it's, like, pulling me out of the experience. And so I just let it happen. I let the tape roll. I start to work through it a little bit. Um, but it's stressful and wonderful and exciting, and I am talking to somebody. It's in a white space, just like, uh, actually a lot like \"The Matrix.\" It's, uh, just a white plane with a ground. There's nothing else. Stuff just pops in while we're talking. Music just starts playing. Sound effects start happening that are always, like, related to what we're talking about. It's like you just pull in these ideas and they just start happening. Uh, it's, it was incredibly profound, but I've covered a lot of that already. But towards the end of that experience, we-- you can ask any questions you want about that if you-- 'cause I, we didn't go into a ton of detail. Um, but we're getting into reality 101. Oh, yeah. Well, that's, that's a good place to pause. I have a couple questions. Yep. Um, I'm curious, what was she... What did she look like? How did your soul twin appear to you in that space? Well, she looks a lot like me. Uh, that's probably not surprising. Same sort of body type. We look genetically related. Sort of dirty blonde hair. Um, l- about 30 years old, I'd guess. Wearing nondescript clothes. Um, she's pretty kind. I know who she is. Like, uh, it's, you s- you can feel like there's more than just verbal thoughts happening. You can feel, like, emotions and, like, their ideas or their intent. If somebody said a word that had two definitions and they just said that, you would know which one they meant, even without the outer, the rest of the context. You just understand what they're trying to communicate to you. But we are using words. But yeah, she's just standing there, and she looks worried and hopeful. A lot of my n- I've taken journal notes, like 200 something experiences at this point. Um, I wrote in my notes that she is, like, keen. She's, like, watching me, like incredibly observant. Like, this whole thing has been, like, a setup for a long time, and this person has been observing me. And is just, like, watching, uh, like a hawk for every little reaction, every little tell, uh, that I have. And because she wants to know how much do I understand about what's happening, about who this is. Where am I, like, on a stage of development, basically, right? That, that's what it feels like, is like... But also, like, \"Do you miss me? Do you kn- How much do you remember about who I am? Like, what can you feel? Like, do you, do you care?\" Like, [chuckles] \"Are you blowing this off? Does this really matter to you? Do you wanna know me?\" Like, imagine seeing your brother after 36 years, and you haven't seen them in that long, and they don't remember you, but you know everything about them, and how that might feel. And, like, it was almost like, uh, somebody at a, like a military coming home, like, party or something after, like, a year or two gone or something, and they're, like, really nervous but excited. Um, that's what it was like. Hmm. And how did you respond to the, her presence? [chuckles] All right. Well, this, I think this deserves a story. Mm-hmm. Um, [chuckles] rather than just tell you, here, I'll look through my actual notes, um, because I, I wrote it down. Uh, so some of this I'll just read it 'cause it will be easier. So she is painfully sincere. Who you see is largely who she is. It's incredibly refreshing. Uh, there's weird artifacts in the communication format, but it's incredibly clear, right? And she's incredibly absorbant, obser- observant and absorbing every detail of our interaction. The very first thing after we have this initial conversation about, like, [chuckles] \"Hey, don't freak out. You're gonna break the contact. You're gonna break the communication.\" Um, sort of stabilize it. We just do some basic chitchat, but I'm basically staring like a slack jaw. Like, I can't [chuckles] give-- \"Holy shit, you are real.\" Like, [chuckles] I thought maybe that was the case. Uh, but I'm seeing you, and you have facial expressions, and you are standing there, and you clearly want things out of me. The very first thing after, like, I'm done, I, I look like an idiot, dude. Like, I'm s- totally slack jawed. Like, [chuckles] can't ima- I'm stopping mid-sentence and just staring 'cause I'm waiting for this to be fake. I feel like it's just going to stop at any time or just be my imagination, but it's so stable, and there's a person there, and she's, like, getting impatient. After all that, like, the first thing she does is offer me a cake. The-- in fact, she just says, \"Do you want cake?\" That's the opening line. [laughs] And I'm just like, \"Cake?\" [chuckles] And then she just looks at me like I'm a, a complete effing idiot. Like, j- lovingly, 'cause I'm in shock, basically. Uh, probably literally in shock. Um, she says, \"I made cake.\" That's it. And I'm just, like, staring. It's got a plate with a cake on it. It's just, like, a brown, unfrosted cake. And I'm staring at it, and I say, \"What is it?\" \"It's cake,\" is, like, the response. I'm looking at my notes. I'm like, \"How did you make it?\" Sort of an eye roll, like, \"I baked it in an oven.\" And then we, like, teleport to, like, a convection oven, and it's just, like, sitting there, like, on the white plain. She opens it up, like, \"See? Oven.\" Like, but there's this undertone of like, [chuckles] \"Come on, dude. Like, keep up. It's an oven. I made a cake in an oven. This is not the hard part. Let's move on.\" Like, this is the tone of what's happening. And I'm like, \"Okay.\" And so I'm like, \"Sure.\" Like, I don't know what to do. Like, I don't know how to interact. I've been, like, fighting for, like, scraps of words for months, and half the time or more, it's my own thoughts, and it goes poorly. It's not fun. Like, telepathy hadn't been fun up until this point, but now it's like, whoa, I'm watching TV, man. Like, this is e- well, it's interactive. It's like they're standing in front of me. And so she gives me cake and a knife and, like, I, I don't really have a body. Like, I'm just floating. Like, I don't know what I'm... [chuckles] I don't know how to navigate these spaces at this point in time. This is five months ago. Uh, I knew a lot less. Things have happened since then. But we're, like, sizing up a slice, right? And then I'm, as I'm going to cut it, she says, \"That's too big.\" [laughs] I just start laughing. And I'm like, \"Okay.\" So I do slightly smaller slice. I get, like, a nod and, like, a, a literal beamed sense of, like, approval. Like, good. Okay. Yes, that's appropriate. And I eat it. You know what it tastes like? Cake. Just tastes like cake. So I asked if it was vegan, and she's like... Okay, I wrote, \"She informs me patiently, as if advocating a small... as if, yes, as if talking to a small child, that there are no chickens here to make eggs, so it's fine.\" [laughs] And I just start laughing. I'm like, \"Okay, yeah, that was a stupid question.\" [laughs] It's like we're in, like, an imaginary space. Yeah, we're good. Never mind. And so, you know. And then, you know, I say there's no frosting. Like, there's this whole, like, coded interaction, right? This is, this is very heav- this is very clearly, like, we're not talking about the thing that we're going to, that you, we both wanna talk about, like, what the hell is happening to you right now? Or, like, I, we finally get to see each other. We're not talking about the thing. You can imagine the social tension here. Uh, that's what's happening. I will also add that she gets her own slice of cake. The cake transforms into a heart-shaped cake immediately after that. No words are spoken. She's totally neutral face. Straight line face emoji. Just, like, playing it very cool, like I'm a wild animal or something, and I could just, like, flip out and bite her or just run away at any time. But played totally cool. Cake transforms into a heart-shaped cake. Otherwise, it's the same. Then she cuts her own slice, and it is enormous. [laughs] I just start cracking up. I'm like, \"What the hell?\" I'm like, \"All right. I see how this is going. I'm getting played. I gotta keep up.\" [chuckles] Hmm. \"I forgot you're my twin. Uh, hold on a second.\" Like, so this is what the interactions are like. Like, a lot of it is just social stuff. You didn't come back with, you didn't come back with, \"That's too big\"? [laughs] No, I, I didn't. You know? I, I asked, like, \"How did you learn how to make cake?\" She, like, waves at just, like, the white space around her and says, \"It's all out there, and then practice.\" I'm like, \"How many have you made before?\" Like, the answers are immediately. She's just talking to me. And I'm just... That alone is what's blowing my mind right now, is that, like, any of this is happening. And so we get into a bunch of other stuff from there. I don't know how much is relevant, because it's not technically the reality when we haven't even gotten- Yeah ... to the main experience. But this is profound for me, because this is my sister. Like, I know who she is. Like, it's difficult to describe how it feels to know how somebody is but not remem- not remember them. Like, I know who they are. Like, it's like I've always known them. You'd had impressions of this person before too, right? Yeah, for many months up until this. And, like, this was the person that I'd been talking to the most. Not the only one. There was another person. We'll introduce them shortly. Um, but yes, like, my sister. Like, I, I had been doing remote viewing. I had been doing so much, and I just started getting verbal thoughts and out of context emotions and other intuitive senses. You imagine just beaming stuff at you. Telepathy is basically a shared experience. So if I'm jumping around feeling happy and thinking about, I don't know, a concert I'm gonna go to, another person's experience of telepathy receiving that is that they are jumping around happy and excited about a concert. But it's, like, a little bit distant. Like, it's removed. Like, you can feel both at the same time. Imagine a kid who comes up to you, and they're super excited about a toy they just got. You can't help but be excited in the same way. Mm-hmm. It's like that, but you can get more than just emotions. Like, you can get somatic senses. You can get ideas. They bleed through, but they have, like, a distance to them. Like, you can feel that they aren't yours. You feel yours separately. Uh, so I'd been getting a lot of impressions all over the place, right? So there's a lot of lead-up to this. This is, like, the big break where, like, oh, we are interacting real time in high fidelity with no error. Like, [chuckles] I'm not guessing whether these are my thoughts or imagination. I'm getting frustrated. I'm not- ... pushing this away and saying, \"It isn't real.\" Like, you're here. I'm here. Um, and I'm awake, right? Uh, I am, I'm experiencing it not as 100% fidelity as, like, being, seeing the room around you, but it's, like, 70% of that. It's stable and sharp. I can see, I can touch, I can smell, I can taste. So that's where I'm at at this point in time. And, uh, [chuckles] it's wild. But I'm, I'm blown away by her, right? It's, it's weird how familiar... They're just people. Non-physical people are just people. Like, they're just... They're different, and we'll have a lot of time to get into that in this series, but they're just people, uh, ultimately. And, you know, everybody has a family, whether it's deceased loved ones or a soul family like this. But they're all just people who love you or care about you and have their own ideas and motivations and problems. And so a lot of what our interactions are about is just [chuckles] a person, family, social stuff, you know? What are you into? How do you feel? So that's what's going on. Hmm. What's her name? Or do she have a name? Names are very, very hard. You wouldn't think that they would be, but I think that there's a lot of reasons for it. Maybe we'll get into it another time. But for people who start to have telepathic experiences, which everyone has, uh, you just, whether you realize it or not, but directed, like conversations, not just perceiving random stuff from the ether. Um, names are hard. Uh, I didn't get a name until much, much later. She does have a name. Uh, I don't think I'm gonna share it because I'm pretty sure that people could attempt to [chuckles] contact her with it. Uh, but she goes by Iris. That is a given name. Um, so we picked that one pretty early on, long before this experience, because I needed something. I n- what am I gonna call you? Who are you? Yeah. Like, I'd already figured out who she was to me at that point, but I didn't know... I needed a name. Uh, so that's the name we went with, and, uh, it stuck. Uh, so that's, that's what she goes by. Hmm. And that makes me think of how names are just... That we have strong associations with our own name because from the moment we come into this world, people are repeating this phrase or, you know, this, these syllables directing their attention at us. And at some point, we begin to associate ourselves with that series of syllables, but it's not really who we are. So in a way, it becomes a kind of prison. Um, I've experienced that. Like, I used to go by Josh. Mm-hmm. And, uh, at some point, I felt that, uh, Josh was not who I was anymore. And I know people, you know, have experiences and they, uh, life-changing experiences, and they might pick a totally new name. I just decided to start going by Joshua because it was easier. [chuckles] It's an easy transition. Yeah. [chuckles] Hmm. That's good. I didn't know that about you. Thank you. But that's a perfect example. There's more than that, too. So some of these people, I think this is a way of framing it, if you're gonna go down this road, it's best just to treat these experiences like there's another person on the other end of the line. Many of them have names. A lot of them don't. And I think it's because they, they go by the feeling of, like, their own soul. We'll talk about that at some... You can feel who they are, and that's kind of your name, right? That's the hallmark. And it's always representative of you, so there's no real reason to... Many of them don't have names. Some of them do, and if you ask for a name, you'll get a bogus one, and it's hilarious every time. It's, it's like, great. Uh, we'll, we'll get some very interesting names later on, uh- Hmm ... in this series. [chuckles] Uh, but it's like, okay, yeah, that's totally your name. All right, let's continue. Uh, you need something to attach them to. Yeah. But anyway, so it, this experience is with Iris, and then this night is wild. All kinds of things are happening to me while this is happening. It's, it's a stable experience, but I don't know where we are. I just call it, like, an astral plane or something. I don't know whether that's the right term or not. Coming into this, I had not done a lot of study on esoteric stuff, traditions. I don't know the words for these. I'm just experiencing it. So we're in a place where stuff just happens. Like, I'm seeing things, like pictures, images, sounds pop in that are, like, tangentially related to what we're doing and sometimes not. It's just like, or I feel like my body spazzing out, like I'm being electrocuted, but it, not in a bad way. Like, just this ton of, like, something, energy going through me or something. Um, and so, you know, like, we'll mention, like, I don't know, like tennis or something, and then you just hear, like, the sounds of, like, people playing tennis or something, or music will start playing. Um, or I start hearing her thoughts spoken aloud. Her own thoughts are being, like, verbalized, like, loud, like inner thoughts, 'cause you have those separately. And she just says, \"Yeah, that happens sometimes. Like, stuff just bleeds in.\" [chuckles] And I'm like, \"Okay. I'll just pretend like that's fine.\" Um, but it's so matter-of-fact. Like, she's just like, \"Whatever. Like, what are you... Stop paying attention. This is not the important part.\" Well, you know, like somebody who's been living there for I don't know how long, um, like this is just normal for them. It's an idea space. Things just pop up. You don't walk. You just teleport to where you're going. You wanna show me an oven? Pop. Here it is. There's the oven. Like, it's, what are you... You don't need to make an oven. You don't need to buy one. It's right here. You need an oven? It's right here. When you don't need it, it's gone. That's just, you could just tell by the way she acted that that is what the reality is like, is it's imagination. Literally, it's imagination. Um, but not because it's made up, but because that's just how it is, and humanity and physical dwelling beings are a bit oddballs out. Hmm. While I was just writing, uh, imagination is a real place. That is, that is a pretty, um, profound statement coming from our modern Western culture. Uh, older traditions would say the imaginal, you know, is what would lend more credence to, uh, spaces like that, and that the imagination is, uh, source in a way. It's the source of this world or one of the sources, maybe the loading zone. Uh, but yeah, that's pretty profound to think of it like that. Whereas, um, I'd always maybe up until I, you know, I don't know, a certain number of years in my own writing creative journey, thought of imagination as just like fancy, you know, just happening in your own head. Um, so it's really interesting to see that, and I, I love this image. I keep thinking of the Matrix loading space, the white space where like Neo's like, \"Guns,\" and then they're like, \"Shit.\" A bunch of guns come. They get anything they need before they plug in and, you know, come into physical reality, right? Um, and I'm also curious if you could say something about how you have come to experience this, this like liminal state as valid. Um, because like y- what you were describing earlier is an interesting experience, and like if I just heard anybody else talk about that, I'd be like, \"Oh, that's an interesting dream. You met a lady and, you know, she offered you some cake.\" And it's like, what is that saying about your psyche or, you know, how is this just in your own head sort of, you know? But, um, what you're expressing is that this was an actual experience with another non-physical being. [lip smack] Um, yeah. You could take it from there. Uh, great points. First of all, doubt is so easy. It is just like baked into the human psyche. Even after this ex- set of experiences, I still experienced doubt. Uh, but it was like once you see it that way, you just start laughing. You're like, \"Okay. Yeah, buddy. Yeah, there's totally nothing happening.\" Uh, but doubt is baked in, and it's one of the things that kills these experiences fully, right? It's almost like you-- I think I, I wrote once in one of my articles on my blog that like you need to be able to entertain a stupid idea long enough to see if it's true. And, um, the real answer is that I'd been receiving intrusive communication for five, six months before this, like out of nowhere. Uh, deep in meditation, somebody's talking to me. Like I'm not making these thoughts happen. I don't know where they're coming from. This is, this has never happened to me before. I was 36 years old. It's a little late to have a, you know, a schizophrenic episode. Like it doesn't make sense. It didn't-- I was healthy and happy, and like my life had been better than ever. And in fact, the communication, any messaging at all, goes away when I got stressed or, uh, my, I didn't have sleep. So like it would turn off. You would think it would be the opposite. A dysfunctional brain is gonna start acting up. No, I couldn't get anything. Like it was clearly just me. Uh, and I could only really start to get this when I was healthy and free and clear and open and playful. Mm-hmm. That's when it started to come through, like somebody is talking to me. And but only in these sort of more enlightened or happy, clear, like permissive states. Uh, and that's why it happens so often in the liminal states or deep in meditation is because your conscious mind is out of the way. Mm. You're not blocking it. We have filters up, and I had been working at this point to start tearing down the filters because I was long past the point of accepting that there is somebody there. I know a lot of this is noise, a lot of this is confusing, but something is happening. I'm, I'm talking to somebody. I'm feeling their emotions. Like I'm talking to my kid, and then I get this like sudden like feeling of like affection or like curiosity as to what they're doing, and it's not mine. Mm-hmm. Like I'm like, \"Pssh. Go away, kid. I wanna do something else.\" And like almost like, I don't know, a family member that is like riding around in my experience or clo- attached to it, like non-physical, and I am feeling what they're feeling, which is, \"Oh, it's your son. [chuckles] What does he want? That's so cool. He looks just like you.\" This stuff s- happens to me. It's not all words, and it's out of nowhere. And the, these people have personalities. Like they will say a thing, have a conversation. Imagine entertaining a what feels like an imaginary conversation in your hammock one day and you're like, \"Ah, did any of that happen?\" It felt like it did. I felt like I was talking to someone. And then two weeks later, you know, they bring up a thing that you totally forgot about and have an answer to, and like they've been working on it, or they've made some change in the way they try to talk to you. You didn't even notice until you remember like, \"Oh, didn't I say something about that like two weeks ago?\" Hmm. I haven't even been thinking about this. Now, is any of this impossible for the human mind? No. Uh, the, the human mind is an incredible thing. But all of these things add up to people who have memories and motives and desires of their own, and I can feel them. Like that is really what pushes me over the edge to taking this seriously, to get to a point where I can even have an experience like this, because you have to entertain it a long time, is that I can feel their emotions. And that's really what kept me going, is that when I would-- You know, somebody shows up, just a smile in your head, like, \"How are-- Hey, how are you doing today?\" You're like, \"Oh, the, the, the signal's clear,\" you know? Like, \"What's up? How are you doing?\" And I'm like, \"Shut up. This isn't real.\" [chuckles] I feel this intense like betrayal, like pain of rejection. Hmm. \"F you.\" [chuckles] Man, that, they don't even need to say that. Like you can just feel it. It's like a heartache. Like you can imagine, you know what the feeling of like your heart literally hurting feels like. That would hit me, and it was so out of context with what I was feeling. I was doing the opposite. I'm like, \"Go away. This is dumb.\" I'm like, \"I'm dismissing this. Uh, go away.\" And then I feel this intense pain of rejection. And you can only do that so many times before you're like, \"All right. Let's see what's here.\" And then the pattern becomes a person, and then I experience them like this. Uh, so it was a long lead-up to this moment. Um, so anything, it was more relief [chuckles] than any... I would've-- Like I mentioned in our first interview, I would've loved to have been crazy. I sought every kind of help that I could think of. Uh, I was no stranger to my own mind and to therapy techniques, and I had no shame in any of this. I, I sought every kind of help or diagnosis I could reasonably seek. I was fine. I was better than I'd ever been. So it was completely out of context with any mental disorder. It made no sense. And so I just decided, well, reality is weirder than we thought it was. [chuckles] Let's see where this goes. I don't wanna keep hurting these people. Hmm. Reality is weirder and wilder and far more exciting than anything we've been led to believe. Yeah. I'm gradually coming to accept that as well, so I, I also really appreciate that, you know, uh, naming the doubt and hearing about your journey of, uh, doubting these experiences, 'cause we're diving in, you know, several years in. You know, you've been on this journey for several years, and we've talked about that in the Ruptures and Roots episode. Um, so I think that's helpful for me and probably for anyone else listening, uh, to see that, like, you started from a place of doubt and skepticism and pushing this away. And I also just, like, my heart goes out to this non-physical person trying to reach you. I just was imagining, like, I have two young children and, um, imagine if I'm, like, trying to help them and guide them and, and they just don't believe I'm real. [chuckles] Like, you know, they, they can't see me or feel me. And it's just like, I'm... You know, I love them so much and I care for them and I wanna see them grow. Um, so yeah. That's really beautiful. So yeah, let's get, let's, let's kinda get into the Reality 101 piece. Sure. Like, what was this, what was this lecture that you received? Yeah. What's the download? We'll talk a lot more about imagination later. Yeah. But for now, just think of imagination as being like a real space that you're a participant of one. It's yours. Like, it's your personal space. But it turns out that other people can come into your personal space. It's like your room. They can show up if you let them, or you have- Hmm ... the capacity to recognize it. And that is what starts happening. So I'm talking to these people and I realize, 'cause this stuff is hitting me, right? I'm experiencing an enormous amount of emotions and profound realizations. Like, I'm not just chit-chatting with a long-lost sister. I'm like, \"You're not my biological sister. You're my soul sister.\" So, like, I'd been wondering for a while, like, okay, if there are lives beyond lives, do we have family beyond our family here? And well, yeah, like, well, here's my confirmation. Yes, [chuckles] we do. I mean, some of us do. I think many of us do. I think, I couldn't tell you for sure. This is a sample size of one. But I wonder, like, I'm starting to wonder aloud. Like, I'm thinking in my head, like personal thoughts. I'm not projecting out. Uh, just thinking, wait, so if I have a sister, do we have parents? [chuckles] Like, like how did we come to exist? Hold on. Like, the, I'm experiencing all of this, right? I'm like two hours in maybe at this point, three hours in. I'm just laying there. My brain's starting to cook, right? We're, whoof, there's a lot going on here. But I, I need to know. Like, I'm, I, I, this is, like, I've had scraps of information for so long, of insights, stuff through remote viewing. And this is just like, bam, full fidelity, ask whatever you want. It's right here. I'm like, I gotta... Drinking from the fire hydrant. I gotta get as much as I can while it's clear and obvious and there's no signal, like, was that my own thoughts? And so I'm, I'm thinking this to myself, and she's like, \"Oh yeah, pshh.\" And she's, she starts to pull in my grandmother, my deceased grandmother, into the space, and I freak out. [chuckles] I'm like, \"Nope.\" I reject it immediately to the point where, like, the whole thing is, like, starting to, starting to tear apart here. And I'm just like, \"Nope, okay, that doesn't happen.\" I'm like, I am not ready for that. For whatever reason, deceased family members is a line for me. Like, okay, new people that I don't have memories of but feel familiar- Hmm ... that's okay. For whatever reason, that's easier. Uh, and I'm like, \"Nope, I can't do that.\" But then I start to wonder, do we have a parent? Where the heck did we come from? And she's like, \"Oh yeah, pshh.\" This exact quote, \"Oh yeah, pshh, that's easy.\" She's super easy to talk to. Here. That's just a hand wave, like, so nonchalant. The whole thing is like, yeah, whatever. Like, this is just how I live. Like, here, talk to her. I'm like, \"Wah.\" [chuckles] I could just, I could just barely handle, like, talking to you and realizing you were real, and we've had, like, five to six months of warm-up here. Hmm. And sure enough, so I am immediately, I'm gone. Like, I'm out of that place. Like, in an instant. She's just hand wave. Sure, yeah. You can talk to her. I'm now in a black space. Like, there's nothing. It's just, like, empty space without stars, basically. I still don't have a body. I'm floating out there. And I feel this, like, smile, like, this just, this presence. Nobody. I think she knew then that I was not ready to see another person. I couldn't, I was really at the breaking point here. [chuckles] Like, I could not handle a lot of trauma. It's the personal stuff that really gets to me. I, m- even more than just the, the profound and weird stuff. It's, I'm not ready to see you yet, as silly as that sounds. But I could feel her, and she was, like, super zen, like, really loving, just like the, the perfect portrait of a parent who's just, like, incredibly loving and is very patient and familiar. I knew exactly who this was. Like, this was n-not only an, like, familiar in the sense that, oh, I haven't seen you in a long time, but, like, I felt this throughout my life. And of course I have, uh, because she's basically been there the whole time. Like just quietly in the background. And I think that you would call this role, like, a spirit guide. This is the role that she's been acting out. This is my... Like, w- I think we all have a lot of them, but this is mine. Like, my main one. And of course it would be, it's my mom. [chuckles] My soul mom. And s- I think at one point she even told me, this is outside this experience, like, \"Why would I let anyone else do this job?\" Like, obviously. [chuckles] You're my kid. I'm, I'm doing this personally. And so I can feel them, and it's incredibly surreal. And I'm, like, brought to tears by just the very presence of this person, and I can tell how much it means to her to be rec- to see, be seen. Imagine what it's like floating around your kid for 36 years and they don't know that you're real or that you even exist, and then they finally notice you. Like, how that must feel. So I'm feeling all that, too, at the same time. This is what I'm feeling. So that's, [chuckles] that's a lot of emotion, and I'm- Hmm ... really feeling it. So I just start asking questions. Like, I just, I just jump right into it, right? So like, \"Hello,\" like, \"What do I call you?\" \"Mother is good enough,\" right? Again, these names. You like this. Like, it's like, [sighs] okay, here's your label. [both laugh] Let's move on. Um, and I realize that this is, like, a belayed conversation that I, uh, I was going to get, like, weeks before. And it was just, like, verbal thoughts. Waking up in the middle of the night and just starting to tell me stuff. And I'm like, \"Eh, I can tell that you're important and I feel I know who you are, but, like, wait until we can meet, like, better. I don't want, I don't want it like this. I don't want, like, an audio message. [chuckles] I wanna meet you.\" And this is that. And like, this had been, like, set up. This whole thing had been set up. It was clearly orchestrated for me to, like, meet my family beyond my family, right? Cool, you're ready now. You're receptive enough. You've been doing the practice, you've been doing the meditation, you've been doing the psychic stuff. You, you're open. You're taking it seriously. Cool. We're gonna engineer this experience for you. It's not, we're gonna, not gonna abduct you. You're not gonna go out of body. We're gonna make it as gentle as possible. Here we go. Nice and gentle. And so I start asking questions. Like, \"Okay, who are you?\" And she starts talking. She said-- She tells me that she created our souls a- and another sibling, uh, who's not our twin. Um, and um, [chuckles] it's very emotional. Um, so she's incredibly familiar to me and very unbothered by, like, all this stuff. I'm cracking jokes or whatever, and she's like- Mm-hmm ... like a monk. Just like nothing I said could have made her upset. I think, honestly, not that she couldn't be upset, but you can tell this, I'm gonna, I don't know how to describe it. Older souls, how do you wanna frame this? Like, they are not bothered by literally anything that a child could do. Like, you could do it, you could stick up your middle finger and moon them and they would, they would just smile at you. It's like that. Um, so I get hugged. Uh, I get, like, the sense of a hug, like the somatic sense of being hugged. Uh, and then I'm, like, reassured about myself, my, like, progress on some curriculum, 'cause that's what's ex- I'm experiencing now, is a curric- I'm going through some process of, like, awakening or realization. And I still didn't know what it was at that time. And I just had been reassured, like, I'm making good choices and that she was proud of me. Uh, I'm like... [sighs] It's bringing me to tears now. Um, and then the rest is, uh, the experience itself. The re- we move into education from there. That's like the, the personal lead in. This, this is who I am. I love you. I'm proud of you. And then we get into it. I'll pause there. Hmm. Wow. I wanna meet my mom. I wanna meet my soul mom. [chuckles] Yeah, man. I want everyone to meet their soul parents or- Yeah ... siblings or... I think a lot of them are adopted, by the way. Hmm. I think it's just, like, I think there are, like, there's a, a relation that is akin to genetics. I don't know, you come in in the same batch. I, I don't know. We'll get into that. But I think a lot of it is you meet people that you like, and you just stick with them throughout multiple lives or whatever, right? The heaven, whatever you wanna call it. Where did this being come from? Where did she come from? Yeah. I guess we- Uh ... will get into that later. [chuckles] Yeah. We'll, we'll, we'll get into that, uh, another time. Uh- Okay ... but there's a providence. Everything comes from somebody or something. Uh- Hmm ... that I can say that much. Uh, it's str- even souls. Uh, so [chuckles] there you have it. Um, some of it is more familiar than you would expect. Um, so after that, um, I am immediately snapped into a very different state. We do the intro, like, \"It's cool,\" and then just like, bam. I'm in a complete non-dual aware state. So for people who don't know what that's like, it is like experiencing yourself as a field of awareness. You... Ego dissolution. You're no longer a person sitting in a chair. There is a person sitting in a chair, but it's not you. You are everything around you. You're experiencing everything more or less as a field of stuff. Now, for me, when I'm awake and doing this, it takes a while to get into this state. It's not easy. It's a lot of meditation. You dissolve the sort of barrier between you and the world. You're experiencing thoughts and emotions and stuff, but there's no real sense of self, right? But still centered on where you are, right? Um, it takes time to get into that state. This is like, bam. All right. Now you're everything. And not just like a regular, like, weak non-dual awareness. Like, I am everything. Like in an instant. So I'm just laying in my bed. Yeah, I still-- There's a vague sense of my physical body, but at this point, I'm no longer paying attention to it at all. But now I am in this black space, and stuff is there. There are things popping in, cars, trees, roads, buildings, people. And I am all of them. Like, I don't mean in the sense that I feel like I am everything. Like, I could feel like they were composed out of me, like my body had extended, and I could've moved a tree limb like my fingers. Like, I was everything in this space, right? Now, all this stuff has been popped in. Again, like \"The Matrix.\" It's just pop, here it is. And I-- It was just in an instant. Being rocketed into a state like that at the snap of your fingers is incredibly jarring. Like, this is not the only time this has happened in my life since then, but it's, it's profound when it does. You're like, \"Okay, if I had any doubts before, I am... My state has been flipped like a light switch.\" They just go in and, \"Let me hit that switch real quick.\" [chuckles] So I'm everything around me. I can feel it. Um, it's like... And I'm experiencing all of these insights at the same time, so I'm just like, \"Whoa.\" [chuckles] And she starts talking over what's happening. Like, I can hear her thoughts. And she's explaining what is happening, like asking questions, like, \"What is that?\" Like the, the car or the tree. I'm like, \"It's me. It's me. It's all me.\" Like, we're talking back and forth like a, a lecture, except the projector screen is me being projected onto my conscious awareness. All of this stuff is just being rendered onto me. And she's asking questions, seeing what I ask, a little back and forth. It's like director's commentary over a movie. It's questions and answers. And I begin to realize this is a lecture, and she's telling me that, \"I'm going to show you how reality works from the perspective of an individual soul, because you don't know how it works, and I can see that it's hurting you. And I love you, and I want you to know.\" And I'm like, [chuckles] \"Okay. Oh, okay. That's all.\" It's, it's just gonna point blank, \"Here. Here's how it works. It's...\" Hmm. \"You don't have to go read through a bunch of old tomes. You don't need to guess. Here, let me just show you directly. I'm just gonna show you. Here it is. Here's how it works.\" And I'm like, \"Ah, I'm everything.\" [chuckles] I'm feeling it. Um, it's being rendered onto me, and I can tell that it's composed out of me. Um, and [chuckles] it's incredibly profound and bizarre experiencing this. And I'm... A lot of what's happening from this point is I am processing what I'm experiencing, 'cause I'm, people are walking around, cars are doing stuff, and I'm like, \"I'm all of them. I don't have a body anymore.\" I'd never, I didn't have one, but I was centered on a point before. But now I'm just like all this stuff. And- Is the non-dual state, uh, in f- like extending through physical reality, like from where your body is? Or is it in the imaginal space that she brought you into? I had forgotten about my physical body at this point. Um, it was there. If I had really shook myself, I could've gotten back to it. It wasn't gone. Uh, but it was as pushed far in the background as you could, right? I wasn't unconscious. Uh, but it was gone, gone. [chuckles] I was not paying attention at all. Uh, couldn't, I couldn't, 'cause what I was experiencing in this imaginal state, right, was so much more vivid and intense. I couldn't even think about it. If, imagine a cursory thought floats through your imagination right now while you're in the midst of doing something really important physically. It's like that, but inverted. Oh. [chuckles] Now it's like, \"Body? Huh? What is that? I don't know what you're talking about. [chuckles] Yeah, whatever. It's over there somewhere, I think.\" Um, so that's what's happening. And I, I'm hit with this profound realization of, like, familiarity. Like, oh my gosh, head to forehead, hand to forehead, like duh. [chuckles] Like, of course that's how it is. Like, but not, I don't remember it being like this. It just feels obvious. Like, I can feel that it's true. And my first reaction after, \"Well, duh,\" of course that makes sense. Like, this is the obvious answer to how everything would work. Like, okay, this actually makes a lot more sense now that I'm feeling it. I'm just every, I'm my entire reality. Okay, cool. That makes sense, 'cause I'm feeling it, right, directly. And then I'm immediately disappointed at how simple it all is. I'm like, \"Oh my God, this is how it works? I'm just everything?\" Like, that's how it actually works, is like I'm literally just everything. And I'm like, it's so simple. And it's like, it's all just made up. Like, I'm just every, I'm rendering my whole existence. Like, I am everything I've ever interacted with, everything I am, everything I feel. I'm all the stuff. And I'm just projecting it onto myself. And I'm, I'm hit with, like, disappointment and sadness. Like, it's so simple. And she basically tells me, \"Yep, that's all it is. You are your entire reality. That's all there is. From your, from the perspective of an individual soul.\" She does, there's caveats of like, there's, there are other things and configurations. There are other levels of existence. You're connected to other things in other ways. We're not getting into that. From an individual soul's perspective, so every human being here, like that's what you should care about. Like, [chuckles] this is what matters to you. This is how it is. That's all there ever is, is you. It's all just you. You're always only interacting with yourself. There's nothing else. And I'm sad. Like, I'm like immediately, like, disappointed. [chuckles] Hmm. Um, but then I, I just find this, like, moment of, like, inner courage, 'cause I'm still experiencing everything. Like, and I just say that- No. Like I decide that it matters just like in that moment. It's also like pure potential. And I'm like, I decide what matters. Like, ultimately, this is the only choice that matters. Does, does anything matter? Does nothing matter or everything matter? I decide it's a choice. They're two sides of the same coin. There's nothing real or everything is real. I decided that it's real. The people, the stuff, all these things are real, and then I say that they matter. Like it... I choose that these things matter, even though it is all just me. It's all just made up, air quotes. It's the Dumbledore Harry Potter quote right at the end of the series, right? It's like, just be... Harry's like, \"Oh, this was all made up.\" And he's like, \"Well, just because it was all made up, why do you think that that means it isn't real?\" You know, that's the rough quote. Literally this, I'm experiencing it now, and I'm like, well, this is the only... What is the other choice? Complete nihilism? Nothing matters? Like, who cares? The Matrix is, is all there is. Or- Hmm ... I decide that, well, that's all there is, so I'm going to enjoy it. Uh, I'm gonna find meaning in this. Was that the disappointment, the nihilism? The disappointment was the simplicity of it all. That like- Hmm ... oh, there's nothing else. It's just me. And I, I started to feel profoundly lonely as well. And, um, so but at this point, my brain is burning out. Like I am so exhausted from this, um, sheer amount of things I've experienced. Um, but yeah, it came from knowing that it's all just this experience. It's just me. I'm the only one here. I'm always the only one here. I'm just- Hmm ... sock puppets with myself. And like, and then I start to have a lot of questions. Like I'm, I've moved past the moment of like nihilism, of like, dang, okay, well, it's that simple. It's literally just all me having the experience with myself. I move past that 'cause then I wanna know stuff. I'm like, well, wait a minute. Why am I not like this all the time? You know? That's [chuckles] how... I'm gonna wake up in a little bit or get up, and I know this is gonna end, and I'm probably gonna go back to a regular existence. Like why, why am I not like this all the time? Why can't I control it? If it's all me, why can't I do whatever I want? And she responds with, \"Because you weren't aware of it. It is this way, you just didn't realize it, and you have to realize it in order to control it.\" So awareness precedes control. It's a very common like lesson in all this stuff. You have to be aware of it, and not just in a conceptual way, like I know that it is true, like you heard about it and you believe it, but like you're experiencing it. You are experiencing the tree as your, as yourself. Then you can do whatever you want. But you have to reach... This is like a preview. This is a preview of where I needed to go, and I knew that intuitively. Like, oh, I'm going to experience something like this in my waking life at some point. And when I get to that stage, that's how you can fly around ignoring space- [chuckles] ... time in a UFO. That's how you can do whatever you want, because you're literally- Hmm ... just controlling your own reality, like pfft, I do whatever I want. The rules, they're all soft rules. There are rules. There are physics, there are metaphysics, there's friction, there's energy, there's... All of these things do stuff. There are rules. Every rule is a soft rule, and if you have sufficient awareness, like direct awareness, you can control anything. It's your reality. It's you. It's always just you. Every single soul has their own reality, right? So this is what I'm getting in these interactions. And, um, I wanna know, okay, well that's, okay, sure. I just gotta keep going. I gotta get to this. I need to relive this awareness that I'm experiencing now in this imagined, like projectors, this matrix that you, this simulation you dumped me in to show me what it will feel like. I need to get to this point in my waking life later. Cool, I'm on board for that. But like how do I do this? Like I don't know how to be a tree. I don't know how cells work. [chuckles] I don't know how a combustion engine is put together. Like I didn't imagine all the parts of this building. And so- Hmm ... she like shows me like, you imagine like you wanted to go to a building to do something or like a D&D campaign sort of thing. Like, I'm gonna go do this thing, and I see a building and stuff. You didn't create the pipes. You didn't create the wiring, but all of those things will be there because your intention was to go to a building for a purpose. And they will appear in your consciousness, and you do not need to know how to consciously do it. Like hand wave, this is the magic of the universe, right? Of, or God, or however you wanna frame it, right? If there was definitely a hand wave to something greater beyond me. Yes, I am my own reality, but there is a lot more than you, son. And don't go thinking that like there is no- Hmm ... like anything bigger beyond you. There definitely is. And one of those things is this shared library of where all this stuff comes from. Pipes, tools, people, like stories, books, catchphrases, like songs. Everything that has ever been created goes into this library, like a blueprint library. So it's like, and I got this sense of like it is a profoundly like, I don't know, like holy. Like if- Hmm ... this person did seem to have a vague sort of religion, but it was not like any of our religions. There was like this profound sense of like holiness in creating new things, and that by living, like physical people living, anybody doing stuff, they were contributing to this shared library from which any of us can pull from. When we go have, when we're creating our own realities, we can only create things that exist. And so we either have to create it or we have to take it from our forebears. It's a beautiful inheritance of all this stuff that has been made. And our, the beauty of our souls, our consciousness, it just knows how to put this together to give us what we want. So we only ever have to focus on what we actually want, and the rest just boop, boop, boop, boop puts itself together according to our needs. You know, if you had complete control, right? This is what I'm experiencing. Um, yeah. And then I, I, the last question I had, because I'm tiring out at this point, is how are there other people? I know there are other people and they're real. Like you're real. I'm interacting with you. This isn't all me. She's like, \"Nope.\" This is all you. Even your experience of me is you. Like again, like a puppet. Uh, but I can't-- I know there are... This is a multiplayer game. She's like, \"It is, but we don't... You're...\" She starts to talk about it, and I have to stop her. And I'm like, \"I am so excited. I am absolutely thrilled. I wanna know this more than I wanna know anything, but you have given me so much.\" Like I just learned that I'm my entire reality. I'm like, a bunch of other stuff has happened to me. [chuckles] You're real, and I'm feeling it, right? I'm-- you didn't tell me, you showed me. I felt what it was like. And all of this other stuff that I just talked about, and my brain is absolutely melting. I am so hot, I feel like I've had a fever. Like, I am like melting down as a human being. The physical body is now like, \"Uh-oh.\" [laughs] We are g- critical meltdown. Like, \"You cannot tell me a single more thing.\" That's basically the exact quote. \"You cannot say one more thing to me or I am going to have a psychotic break or my brain is going to explode. You, you have got to stop. No more.\" And then she just smiles and s- basically says she loves me and says, \"Okay.\" And then [snap] it's gone. I'm awake in my bed instantly, just like that. It's completely gone. I'm just laying there like, \"Ugh.\" [chuckles] Looking at the ceiling now, like, \"Whoa! Okay. Hello. I'm no longer everything in this simulation. I'm this guy in a bed.\" And- [chuckles] ... it's, that's it. And I'm just laying there. So that's the end of that experience. [chuckles] Hmm. Wow. Yeah, I, I only heard parts of that, I think, before, so I'm, I was just like riveted. [laughs] Oh, I just, I don't even know where to begin with diving deeper- Wherever you want, man ... honestly. Like it's just, I feel like it's just, uh, so fascinating, man. And, um, well, the library things, you know, I've heard of the Akashic Record and, you know, people talk about that, and other spiritual explorers have been to those spaces. It's just, um, interesting to think about that and like how lived experience then is kind of like this process of generating more that goes into this vast store. Um, and then I also thought it was interesting about the, the sock puppets like [chuckles] so you didn't really get a response on that. I mean, she said, you said like, \"I'm talking to someone,\" but it was like, no, you're talking to yourself. But so she's also you. I guess in that sense, you're me and I'm you, so we're just talking to ourse- I'm just talking to myself and talking to you. [laughs] Yeah, man. But I guess you, you also had another experience which was reality 102, and that's the multiplayer reality, right? Yeah. So spoiler- That's gonna be, that's a future lesson. Yeah, we'll get into that later, I guess, huh? This is at the end of December, right? So this is five months ago now. A little more than five mo- five and a half almost. And for four months and some change maybe, I've been begging. Like, \"Yo, give me the follow-up. I want the 102.\" Nope. Hmm. Nothing. Nothing. Now, an incredible amount of things happened to me in that time period, but none, no follow-up, no direct instruction on this topic. Other topics, which is maddening, but not like this. Not to this fidelity. And, um, yeah, I'd been begging. Like I-- it, it bothered me. Like how am I, I've, how am I not alone? How are we each not alone? I know these other people are real. And the only thing I had gotten was like an intuitive sense that we were projecting onto each other. And I'd only been given the sense that it only happens because you don't know about it, right? This was another thing that was given to me, um, was in part of the lecture near the end was like h- I'm not making this happen, so how is it happening to me? Like there's another person there. Like how does, how does this happen? And that this can only happen to you, anything can only happen to you because you're not aware that it's you. So you're just at the mercy of whatever's going on, buddy. Like that's [chuckles] like you're gonna receive, you're the screen, man. You can't stop anything. Not really. You have some, you have some control, but you don't have this level of awareness that I'm basically giving you right now. So you can't shut it down. Like you-- because you're not aware that it's you. If you knew that it was you and that you were your entire reality, you could control anything. You could literally do anything. You could have any experience. You could do anything you wanted, but it would be you. And this was the part that I hung u- got hung up on 'cause I'd never got the answer in this experience. In the 101, it's like, okay, I get that, but like it's still just me. Like you're like a bubble person where people are reaching in with their gloves and like touching you. Like [chuckles] maybe. Like I don't know. How can I tell the difference? Like it's all me. I'm interacting with myself everywhere, all the time. Uh, and I wanted to know how, but I didn't get that until like a month ago. Hmm. And, uh, yeah. So there were follow-ups to this. Stay tuned. That'll, [chuckles] that'll be another episode. But for now, there you have it. And for the creatives out there, keep making stuff because now you know, like if you ever doubt that something you made had any value at all, like in a lot of ways, as far as other people are concerned, this is one of the only things that have enduring permanent value is your book or your music or your ideas or the thing you put together because it's automatically made available to somebody else, whether they knew it or not. Your inventions, your concepts, all of this, your poetry, uh, anything can be made available to somebody else once it's been created. They may think it's theirs. [chuckles] I mean, don't begrudge somebody in their own dimension- [chuckles] ... or whatever for thinking they came up with the idea, but- Yeah ... you will know that it was yours, and you made that possible for them. This, in a lot of ways, is the only way we can ever make progress. ... is by creating this stuff. Uh, so nobody's life is ever wasted. You've always made some contribution. Mm. And creative acts are, as it felt, ultimately like a beautiful, benevolent, like, tantamount to, like, a holy act is, [chuckles] is what it felt like. With reverence, right? It was treated with reverence, not silliness. Like, because you've created something that will last for eternity. Mm. For everybody, for all of the universe, for every living soul can have it now. Yeah, that makes me think of, um, I've talked about this in other places, but, um, [lip smacks] and I guess going back to what I was sharing earlier about my own creative journey, I used to think that ideas came from my own head or- Yeah ... um, that if I thought harder, you know, that's how I, you know, if I strained enough, then the good words would come out or the good stories would come out. Um, but the more that I learned to let go and release control and become a channel, I felt I was tapping into something beyond me. And I'd read this book called \"Big Magic\" by Elizabeth Gilbert, and she says that she had an experience where she was working for years on a novel, and at some point her life kind of, um, got beyond her and she couldn't keep working on this project anymore. Uh, and then a couple of years later, she met, uh, another novelist friend of hers who had ended up writing a book that was almost exactly the same book. It was, like, the same characters, the same setting, uh, the same major conflicts and everything. And maybe it was, like, slightly different in, you know, significant ways, but it was like, wait, that was the book I was writing. [chuckles] So somehow- Yeah ... this, this novel went from Elizabeth Gilbert's head into, I think it was Ann Patchett maybe. I don't know who the other novelist was. But yeah. Yeah. She ended up writing it. So it was like that, that novel Elizabeth Gilbert was writing didn't go to waste. It was like- Nothing is wasted ... it was either, like, it was either, like, maybe... Uh, so my idea is that, like, there's, uh, a story that's existing in, uh, a, a non-physical realm that's trying to come through me into this physical realm, and then I'm availing myself, uh, as a channel to help that happen. But it's maybe working with all these other people. The, the effort that I make to bring it forth, uh, is also helping them, you know? I also think about, like, uh, was it Darwin and Wallace, right? They both were working on, uh, the theory of evolution in different parts of the world without knowing, you know- Mm-hmm ... of each other's work. But Darwin was the one who, you know, popularized his idea first, so he's the one who's credited for it. So we don't really actually own those things in the way that copyright law and publishers would wanna- Yeah ... say that we do. It's really interesting. So that's coming from the other direction. That's ideas coming into your world for you- Yeah ... to work on them or 'cause it's time for them to show up or whatever, right? Right. The g- it's, it's a two-way street. [chuckles] Mm-hmm. Mm. Uh, that's pretty cool. Yeah, I, I totally buy that as well. Hmm. Oh, man, this is, uh, such a vibrant conversation, and I'm really excited to dive in on reality one or two. I have some ideas about where you're going with that, but I think I'll save them for our next conversation 'cause, uh, we're already getting to about an hour. So I'm wondering now if you wanna check in and just, like, see, uh, yeah, having shared the story, uh, brought it into awareness and shared it in this space, uh, do you have any reflections on, uh, or meaning you're making of that now? Well, it's hard not to leak in some of the stuff I've experienced since then. Um, but I'll just as a spoiler, I have had this experience, or one very like it now, in a waking state, uh, which I did not see coming. Uh, I should have. Like, in the telling of the story, it seems like it all, like, fits together sequentially, but it's such a mess. There's, like, 50 things going on all the time. You're like, you don't know which is real- Mm-hmm ... which is made up, which is I think there's something. And then suddenly, bam, a feeling, what was an inclination or an intuition. I took my intuition and imagination and all these inner senses very seriously to get to this point, and then suddenly, bam, you get hit with this high fidelity, low error experience that you can't ignore. It's in your face. And I got validation after this, by the way. Uh, I didn't have time to get into that, uh, but I would later, um, see things and get physical world confirmation that this had happened, um, just as a courtesy, I think. [chuckles] For my own sanity. Uh, because the doubt, uh, is, is such a pervasive thing. You can-- How can you imagine doubting after this? But that's what happens. Um, but I took these inner senses seriously long enough for them to show up in my world. That's really what happened, is that, like, I was willing to play in this sort of maybe space of, like, taking it seriously, like, no, these emotions, these are people. Like, [chuckles] this, this is happening, like, somewhere. I'm not getting it all right, I know that. There's a lot of noise, but I know there's something here. I took it seriously long enough, then bam. You get hit with, like, oh, okay, you're right in front of me. This is for real, for real. And you're just telling me all of this and, like, it in all comports and, and it's, it's testable. You're getting models that fit, uh, and you can try things, or you're getting advice or definitions to things, um, that you can test in the real world. And that started happening. But it came from being willing to entertain a thing that didn't feel real, uh, for a long time, as it gradually became more real. It was incredibly frustrating, and that that's what made it happen, and if you can hold onto that long enough... But there was also accountability, right? I insisted on, like, validation. I insisted on doing it right, and a lot of the stuff that I experienced that was traumatic was made up. Like, just hearing thoughts or, like, ideas that, like, you imagine, like, somebody saying they hate you after, like, you know, all this time. Like, what the [chuckles]What do you mean you hate me? What is this? And like a lot of those things didn't happen, but they did kind of happen. We'll get into that later too, because it's your reality, right? Mm-hmm. Your insecurities, your fears, your hopes, your dreams, uh, even especially the dark subconscious stuff that you don't wanna pretend is there, that's all deeply influencing the very real physical reality you see in front of you. Mm-hmm. It's changing what is possible and what will happen to you. Uh, the physical world is not as malleable as like this astral place, but it runs by the same principles ultimately. Maybe at a slower cadence, generally speaking, more ordered, but it fundamentally works in the same way, right? Just think of it as having more mass. It's harder to get stuff moving. Hmm. But it works on the same principles. So all of these like parts of yourself are also creating the world, and you're experiencing them too. Hmm. Uh, so as you, you know, as I went through this, and anyone else, just treat your experience, your non-physical experiences very seriously. They are happening. Like it's... But it's always you. [chuckles] It's always you. Uh, everything is always you, and that is extremely confusing and profound and simple. Uh, we'll get into obviously later, like how, how is it not always you? It's, it's clearly- Hmm ... like there are other people and stuff here. But this is true, like full stop. You're always only interacting with yourself. And, um- Hmm ... a lot of that comes from your unconscious parts. Uh, and so I think the final point I wanted to make about all this experience was that the way all of this happened to me was like personal growth. It didn't happen because I went on a drug bender, or I learned some secret technique, or some magic spell where- Hmm ... got hypnotized or like it didn't happen because I was at some horrible point in my life. Like I had been better than I ever was. I'd been on a trajectory of personal growth for years, and I was taking spiritual and non-physical stuff very seriously, uh, 'cause it started happening to me. I didn't ask for it. It just started showing up. And the more seriously I took it, the more it happened. But all of this stuff, even this experience, I was looking through my journals. Immediately preceding this were moments of profound personal growth where I'd accepted parts of myself that I didn't like, I didn't wanna admit. Hmm. And then I'd accepted them, and I was beginning to move on, or relationships with other people, or about what I really wanted or what I actually feared, like I dragged that stuff out into the light and accepted it. And that had happened right before this. And when I look back at the, a lot of the major experiences, they always happen following periods of profound personal growth. That's how you get psychic powers and see UFOs and meet your soul family is- [chuckles] ... become a better, happier person. Hmm. More open, more accepting and self-loving, less judgmental. Like that is what created this experience just as much as taking it seriously and wanting it. Like I was seeking this for a really long time. You do those three things, like you can have the same experience. Um, but yeah, it's always you. Just because it's, it feels imaginary doesn't mean it's fake, because it's, it's all that. Hmm. It's all you. [chuckles] It's, \"Oh, this is just me,\" is always true. Yes, it is just me. Um, and so that was one of the biggest takeaways from that, and it took a long time for that to sink in, and I needed a lot more personal examples. This isn't a thing you can be told. Being told just helps you take it seriously and put yourself on the path to go experience it yourself. Everyone needs to experience it yourself, and you can, and then you will know. You'll put your hand to your forehead and go, \"Oh my God, it really is just me.\" [chuckles] That, that's available to anyone. Hmm. Wow. Well, yeah, I'm feeling encouraged and, uh, excited to try out some of these things myself. I'm already doing some of that and getting little glimpses of some of the things that you're talking about in some of my liminal states and meditations. Um, but yeah, just, uh, honored to hold space for your story today and to, yeah, be able to create this series with you. I'm excited to go deeper in all of these and, uh, see what unfolds as we begin, continue to explore this, so. Yeah, man. I'm checking out with that. I'm wondering if you have a couple words you'd like to leave as you're, you know, or share as you're leaving this space. How does it feel to have shared this story in this space today? It feels amazing, like I've offloaded the first chapter [chuckles] of one of these golden books. Honestly, it's a weight. Hmm. That it's like a, a beautiful burden. But I feel like I'm walking around these days knowing I am my entire reality. Like I feel it. I can feel it. And, um, I can start to do stuff. I can see without eyeballs. I can move things with my mind. [chuckles] Light, light things. But I can, I can do things now. I can see and know things that I shouldn't theoretically be able to know. Um, and it feels amazing, and I want everyone else to have it. Uh, so I'm just excited to, to g- get it out and get it into people's hands, uh, like you and like anyone else, so they can have it too. This is Reality 101. We thought this through about what would be a good sign-off and, uh- Yeah ... I'll, I'll give this context one time, and the next I'm just gonna say it. And at one point in one of my experiences through a remote viewing map, uh, I... Somebody told me that they were so excited for me because I had just been given the gift of everything. In fact, everyone has already received this gift. They just didn't realize it yet. This is prior to this experience. You have received the gift of everything. Surprise. And here's what the gift of everything is. [gentle music] You can do anything you want. Nothing is impossible. You're not going to die, and everything loves you. There it is. Hmm. See you next time. 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