{"language_code":"eng","language_probability":0.9933941960334778,"text":"The Eighth Self. Chapter Three: Riditaru, Soul Burden. Catrilla sat beside her body for most of the day. The Terrentian had simply set her in the street. Fortunately, they'd been kind enough to set her beneath the overhang propped against the wall. It had taken her three hours to admit that graciousness as she watched the broiling sunlight creep across the ground. It would have been no trouble to throw her flat on her face in the dirt, to cook all day in the heat. People passed by her in the morning, but either didn't recognize her or assumed that she'd been doing dream leaf. She hadn't. Not lately, anyway. At last, some servants recognized her. They pulled her unconscious body, ironically, right back to the same clinic she'd been thrown out of that morning. She was put up in a bed across from her father. Two medical servants, both women with bright yellow hair with little flecks of green, they took her vitals once, then casually probed her with yellow. She looked almost bored as she sifted through Catrilla's unconscious basic needs. Then she stopped, and a slow smile spread across her face. She walked over to her friend and whispered something in her ear. When she came back, she checked Catrilla's eyelids to see if she was awake, then probed her again with yellow, much harder. Keep your minds to yourselves, ladies. She didn't know what needs yellow would reveal to her. It could be anything from the need to go to the bathroom to the need to leave your spouse, or even the need to feel special to your father who never had time for you because he dedicated his entire day and entire life to helping everyone but you. Hopefully, it wouldn't be that one. The second servant giggled, and they walked out of the room together. That giggle worried her. If she'd been awake, she could have tapped her own yellow to block it. Of course, if she'd been awake, they wouldn't have gone prying like that. Catrilla walked around the servant's hovel, waving her arms in front of people. Nobody seemed to notice her, and yet she wasn't able to walk through doors. So she had to wait for people to open doors so she could slip past them. Eventually, when she wasn't sure what else to do, she returned to the clinic where her body was. Catrilla walked up to her real body and put an arm to her chest. The ghostly arm stuck there, pinning her awkwardly in place. So, with nothing else to do, she pushed as hard as her body would let her push. It began pulling her in, slowly, incredibly slowly. So she stood there, half in, half out of her real body, as her father looked up from his meal. I'll bet you feel pretty stupid, sitting in the corner, outside your body. Catrilla was pretty sure he couldn't see her. But then he started popping his knuckles in the specific way that she always hated. Come on, stupid body, let me in. But it wouldn't let her in any faster. Your nurses told me I don't spend enough time with you. She knew it. That was a mid-grade secret at best, though. They hadn't gotten the really good stuff. And that you were very unfulfilled, romantically speaking. Catrilla felt her face flush, actually felt it, but was still unable to move her body. The last parts of her spirit were still sagging back into place. Or, well, not romantically, exactly. The other thing. You know what I mean. She wanted to be anywhere but here. She'd rather stay a ghost. At least then she could run away. Your mother and I were very fulfilled, if you know what I'm saying. Why hadn't the Terrentians just killed her? Yes, that would have been better. Nurse. It took all of her energy just to muster that pitiful groan. Oh, the things she would have given to be able to tap orange then. I think the act itself was more energetic because we couldn't marry. It's hard to explain, Cat. There was something ephemeral about our time together on those nights. She would have killed to be able to tap orange then. I thought you loved me. Tiongo pressed his hands together and smiled. And she returns to the world of the living at last. You shouldn't get on Trevor's bad side like that. It isn't good for your health. You're friends with them? Of course I am. Of course I am. I can ask them to do stuff, can't I? Seriously. I I seek to understand every potential ally, every potential threat. Do you really hold so much hate in your heart for a stranger? Tiongo rubbed at his neck. It wasn't that she hated individual Torinshins, except now Trevor and Rhea. She definitely hated them. It was more that she hated the disease their distant neighbors had brought with them. A disease of change, a death of tradition, a kind of invasion that never drew blood but killed a people all the same. And she hated being powerless to stop it. I only hate the ones who use evil magic on me. Tiongo laughed, then winced, and then laughed a little softer. You needed a timeout. What had exactly happened to her? Apparently her father knew something about the Torinshin magic. It was weaker than reflection potential. Everyone said that. And it was much more rare than magic was in Katala. But her father was right about that much. If she wanted to drive the Torinshins out, she would need to understand her enemy. She found the rage she'd been holding trickle out of her. Then she felt warmth drip down her face. I'm sorry, Father. Katrilla was too weak to lift the arm to mop up the tears. She just let them run down her face. I'm sorry I failed to save you. No. No more talk of that. It is your own obsession to Red that makes you say that. You hold unreasonable standards for yourself. Who do you think I got that from? He returned a genuinely warm smile at that. Not your mother. Katrilla smiled back and the weight of guilt finally lifted from her. At least the two of them could go back to the way things used to be. It was a lot of work caring for her father, but it had become familiar over the years. As much as she complained, it was kind of a bedrock of purpose in her life. Kat, I've been meaning to tell you this, even before the attack. You're fired. Katrilla laughed loudly. Huh, and who will feed you, wash your clothes, keep your schedule? I suppose I will have to learn. Should have learned a decade ago, but You just didn't want to do it. It wasn't that. Well, it wasn't only that. I see now that it was selfish to steal your youth just to keep you close, so you're fired. Go enjoy real freedom. Katrilla snorted. Was he serious? How long would this last? A day? Maybe two? It would last until he realized how hard it was simply to haul water from the fountains each day. You didn't pay me anyway. Her father, doing his own laundry. Now that was funny. She slipped out of bed and tested her legs. They felt heavy and uncoordinated, but functional and getting better by the moment. So she hobbled out of the servant's hovel to enjoy her day off. The first in over a decade. Chapter 4. Tel Ta. Home Protector. Katrilla went about twenty feet down the street before she realized she had no idea what to do with free time. She opened up her coin purse. There was more purse than coin there. I need a job. But Tiongo wasn't actually serious. He wouldn't make it a week on his own, so what was the point in starting a job that she'd quit immediately? So, lacking any direction, she simply walked the streets of Irunto. The streets were crowded that morning. She noticed that, though they were crowded, they weren't busy. People leaned and sat against the walls of public buildings. Tired eyes, downcast faces. Fortunately, they didn't go hungry. Irunto hadn't sunk so far as to deny food to those without it. A person had a right to eat. As she walked towards the district center, she realized that these people must be waiting in a line. There must have been hundreds of people in the line. Katrilla stopped to talk to a bored-looking man near the front of the line. What are you here for? Tel Ta signups today. Line starts back there. He pointed in the direction she'd come from. Why are you signing up? The man scowled at her, obviously wondering why she had singled him out for questioning. Because it pays. That's it? He looked at her like she was insane, then deliberately turned away to face the wall. So she talked to the next person in line. And you? You're enlisting just for money? The woman nodded. Most of the people in line only had flecks of color in their hair and on their fingernails. Either this group of people hadn't been making time for reflection, or they were disproportionately from the small portion of society who could not store much potential. Still, the six selves provided more than magical ability. They directed your personal growth. How else would you know how to improve without reflecting? Come up with advice on your own? That didn't even make sense. How in the world did a person advise themselves? Reflection was the very basis of Catullan society. \"Ah, a talented practitioner. Are you signing up for the Tel-Tar today?\" Catrilla turned to see a woman with a writing board standing next to her. The man she'd spoken to earlier stepped between them. \"She's not in line.\" \"Maybe not, but by the looks of it, she could throw you through this wall.\" The man looked at Catrilla, then stepped back in line, fuming silently. \"Well, are you signing up?\" \"No, I'm just going for a walk.\" \"Only takes a day to do the tryouts, and we pay anyone who makes it past the first round.\" \"I'm busy.\" She started to walk off. The woman turned back to her writing tablet. \"Shame. No shortage of people who'd like to throw the servant prime's daughter in a bout.\" Catrilla stopped walking. \"What did you say?\" \"There's a lot of people who would love to fight you.\" Catrilla looked up and down the line of people. They seemed exceptionally undedicated, both in terms of physical fitness and dedication to reflection. \"No, not these people. At the end of tryouts, the regular Tel-Tar fight the recruits in bouts to determine the enlistment offers.\" Catrilla looked up at the sky. It was only mid-morning, but the heat of the day already felt hot enough to cook by. Teongo would be well taken care of at the clinic. She could spare the time. \"Do you serve lunch?\" The recruiter laughed. \"I'll make an exception for you if you let me introduce you to my captain.\" \"Sure.\" It had been a few days since she'd sparred. Besides, it would feel good to knock down a few big egos. Catrilla grabbed the other woman by the arm, then tapped red to stiffen her lower body. Using her hip as a lever, she threw the woman to the mat. Then she dropped to the mat with the woman and stiffened her arm and shoulders to stone, pressing her forearm to her throat. \"Yield. I yield.\" The woman slapped the ground with one open hand. \"Recruit sixty-four wins.\" Catrilla tried to help her up, but the woman refused help and stormed off. Some people were like that. Sometimes it was hard not to take a defeat in the ring personally. There was a small crowd of people watching the sparring matches. People lacking in orange were often sent to places like this to study. These people didn't have the look of martial arts students, though. They looked like Tel-Tar regulars sizing up their potential new recruits. Catrilla stepped off the padded square and onto the dirt streets. The recruiter who had signed her up for the day's events beamed. She introduced herself as Maya. \"That's four in a row. Make sure you write Fotu Squad as your first choice.\" A thin man with mostly bright blue dreadlocks was standing beside her. He had an enormous amount of blue. Not the most she'd ever seen, but it was impressive. This was Fotu Squad's scout, Iltan. \"That's us.\" \"I'm not joining the Tel-Tar. I told you.\" \"Sure. Okay. It's not like we do any actual fighting. It's more like a, a club.\" \"It's not like a club, Iltan. We're militia. Ignore him. It is an honor to serve with the Tel-Tar.\" Catrilla nodded eagerly. Even though she wasn't a servant, what she said would have an impact on her father's reputation. His reputation, in turn, was connected to all of White Leaf District's reputation. If their servant prime's daughter didn't honor traditions as old as the Tel-Tar, then surely White Leaf District was falling apart. Then again, if her father was currently making friends with the Torinxians, how much damage control could she really do to his reputation? \"I have to go. I have other duties.\" \"Don't go. One more match. This one is with a regular. The captain himself is going to fight you.\" Catrilla rolled her eyes. It's not like she actually had anything to do. \"Fine. One more, but only because you're paying me.\" \"Paying you?\" Maya hit Iltan with her writing board. \"Hush, you.\" \"Wait a minute. You're not paying me?\" Maya hit Iltan a second time. She tried for a third time, but he tapped blue and easily caught the writing board and pulled it away from her, laughing. This was an ox pile if she'd ever seen one. They weren't paying her? Sure, she'd won, but she was going to have bruises for a week. Catrilla was no warrior, but these people were inexperienced and had little to no potential stored at all. All four opponents had fought viciously, however. The warriors Catrilla sparred with always pulled their blows, and both fighters left with an understanding that it could have gone much worse. They never actually hit each other with full force. Outside of the rare prize tournaments, anyway. The purpose of a sparring match was to prove who was better, not cripple each other. Training that crippled you was worse than pointless. Catrilla watched her last combatant limp away, and to her disbelief, get right back in line. \"Do the same people try to enlist every week, Maya?\" Every week? More like every day. We take turns doing the recruitment, but yes, it's the same people each day. Sad, really, yes. Most of them will never make it. The squad captains don't even show up anymore till the end. So that was why they'd picked her out of the line. She was the first new face they'd seen in a long time. That and her hair and fingernails marked her as someone talented in reflection. Why do they try so hard? It didn't make any sense. Iltan and Maya looked at each other, hesitation and confusion written on their faces. Because they're poor. Maya nodded. White Leaf provides for the poor. Why come here every day just to get beat up? The chance to get beat up. Most of the time they just wait in line to be sent away again. Iltan is right, but there's more to it than that. These people are impoverished in other ways. The Tel'ta is a very honorable path for those who don't want to swear the oaths of servitude. Even if you feed someone, give them a place to sleep and clothes to wear, they are still impoverished of purpose. People need a reason to live. Catrilla watched the hundreds of people idling in line. A small fraction of White Leaf's people. Her people. But they told of a problem she hadn't known existed. This was not a problem caused by the Torinshans. It was the system working as intended, and still people despaired. A new fear turned in her guts. She could do everything right and still fail. How did you give someone a purpose? Catrilla frowned and walked away from the Tel'ta recruiters toward the public reflection rooms. Another worry nagged at her. What if her father really didn't need her? 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