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00:00:00.120 Speaker 1 The
00:00:28.000 Speaker 1 Eighth Self.
00:00:30.860 Speaker 1 Chapter Three: Riditaru, Soul Burden.
00:00:37.340 Speaker 1 Catrilla sat beside her body for most of the day. The Terrentian had simply set her
00:00:42.020 Speaker 1 in the street. Fortunately, they'd been kind enough to set her beneath the overhang
00:00:46.720 Speaker 1 propped against the wall. It had taken her three hours to admit that graciousness as
00:00:52.540 Speaker 1 she watched the broiling sunlight creep across the ground. It would have been no
00:00:57.140 Speaker 1 trouble to throw her flat on her face in the dirt, to cook all day in the heat.
00:01:04.459 Speaker 1 People passed by her in the morning, but either didn't recognize her or assumed that
00:01:09.340 Speaker 1 she'd been doing dream leaf. She hadn't. Not lately, anyway.
00:01:15.380 Speaker 1 At last, some servants recognized her. They pulled her unconscious body, ironically,
00:01:21.560 Speaker 1 right back to the same clinic she'd been thrown out of that morning. She was put up
00:01:26.040 Speaker 1 in a bed across from her father. Two medical servants, both women with bright yellow
00:01:30.900 Speaker 1 hair with little flecks of green, they took her vitals once, then casually probed
00:01:36.440 Speaker 1 her with yellow. She looked almost bored as she sifted through Catrilla's
00:01:40.740 Speaker 1 unconscious basic needs. Then she stopped, and a slow smile spread across
00:01:46.720 Speaker 1 her face. She walked over to her friend and whispered something in her ear. When she
00:01:52.400 Speaker 1 came back, she checked Catrilla's eyelids to see if she was awake, then probed her
00:01:57.240 Speaker 1 again with yellow, much harder. Keep your minds to yourselves, ladies.
00:02:04.400 Speaker 1 She didn't know what needs yellow would reveal to her. It could be anything from the
00:02:09.199 Speaker 1 need to go to the bathroom to the need to leave your spouse, or even the
00:02:15.060 Speaker 1 need to feel special to your father who never had time for you because he dedicated
00:02:20.260 Speaker 1 his entire day and entire life to helping everyone but you. Hopefully,
00:02:26.420 Speaker 1 it wouldn't be that one. The second servant giggled, and they walked out of the room
00:02:31.520 Speaker 1 together. That giggle worried her. If she'd been awake, she could have tapped her
00:02:36.700 Speaker 1 own yellow to block it. Of course, if she'd been awake, they wouldn't have gone
00:02:40.820 Speaker 1 prying like that. Catrilla walked around the servant's hovel, waving her arms in
00:02:46.300 Speaker 1 front of people. Nobody seemed to notice her, and yet she wasn't able to walk
00:02:51.440 Speaker 1 through doors. So she had to wait for people to open doors so she could slip past
00:02:56.220 Speaker 1 them.
00:02:57.940 Speaker 1 Eventually, when she wasn't sure what else to do, she returned to the clinic where
00:03:03.080 Speaker 1 her body was. Catrilla walked up to her real body and put an arm to her chest.
00:03:09.100 Speaker 1 The ghostly arm stuck there, pinning her awkwardly in place. So, with nothing else
00:03:14.780 Speaker 1 to do, she pushed as hard as her body would let her push. It began pulling her in,
00:03:20.580 Speaker 1 slowly, incredibly slowly. So she stood there,
00:03:26.420 Speaker 1 half in, half out of her real body, as her father looked up from his meal.
00:03:32.780 Speaker 1 I'll bet you feel pretty stupid, sitting in the corner, outside
00:03:38.700 Speaker 1 your body.
00:03:40.940 Speaker 1 Catrilla was pretty sure he couldn't see her. But then he started popping
00:03:46.880 Speaker 1 his knuckles in the specific way that she always hated. Come on,
00:03:52.680 Speaker 1 stupid body, let me in. But it wouldn't let her in any faster. Your
00:03:58.540 Speaker 1 nurses told me I don't spend enough time with you. She knew it.
00:04:04.640 Speaker 1 That was a mid-grade secret at best, though. They hadn't gotten the really good
00:04:08.900 Speaker 1 stuff. And that you were very unfulfilled,
00:04:15.400 Speaker 1 romantically speaking.
00:04:18.980 Speaker 1 Catrilla felt her face flush, actually felt it, but was still unable to move
00:04:24.940 Speaker 1 her body. The last parts of her spirit were still sagging back into place.
00:04:31.340 Speaker 1 Or, well, not romantically, exactly. The other thing.
00:04:37.780 Speaker 1 You know what I mean.
00:04:40.580 Speaker 1 She wanted to be anywhere but here. She'd rather stay a ghost. At least then she
00:04:46.040 Speaker 1 could run away. Your mother and I were very fulfilled,
00:04:52.740 Speaker 1 if you know what I'm saying. Why hadn't the Terrentians just killed her? Yes, that
00:04:58.280 Speaker 1 would have been better.
00:05:00.680 Speaker 1 Nurse. It took all of her energy just to muster that
00:05:06.280 Speaker 1 pitiful groan. Oh, the things she would have given to be able to tap orange then.
00:05:13.680 Speaker 1 I think the act itself was more energetic because we couldn't marry.
00:05:20.040 Speaker 1 It's hard to explain, Cat. There was something ephemeral about our time together on
00:05:25.660 Speaker 1 those nights. She would have killed to be able to tap orange then.
00:05:32.320 Speaker 1 I thought you loved me. Tiongo pressed his hands together and
00:05:37.960 Speaker 1 smiled. And she returns to the world of the living at last.
00:05:44.420 Speaker 1 You shouldn't get on Trevor's bad side like that. It isn't good for your health.
00:05:51.160 Speaker 1 You're friends with them? Of course I am. Of course I am.
00:05:57.360 Speaker 1 I can ask them to do stuff, can't I? Seriously.
00:06:03.440 Speaker 1 I
00:06:05.436 Speaker 1 I seek to understand every potential ally, every
00:06:10.916 Speaker 1 potential threat. Do you really hold so much hate in your heart for a
00:06:16.956 Speaker 1 stranger? Tiongo rubbed at his neck. It wasn't that she hated
00:06:22.616 Speaker 1 individual Torinshins, except now Trevor and Rhea. She
00:06:28.456 Speaker 1 definitely hated them. It was more that she hated the disease their distant
00:06:33.596 Speaker 1 neighbors had brought with them. A disease of change, a death of tradition,
00:06:39.996 Speaker 1 a kind of invasion that never drew blood but killed a people all the same.
00:06:46.196 Speaker 1 And she hated being powerless to stop it. I only hate the ones who
00:06:51.956 Speaker 1 use evil magic on me. Tiongo laughed, then winced,
00:06:57.896 Speaker 1 and then laughed a little softer. You needed a timeout. What
00:07:04.236 Speaker 1 had exactly happened to her? Apparently her father knew something about the
00:07:09.215 Speaker 1 Torinshin magic. It was weaker than reflection potential. Everyone said
00:07:14.956 Speaker 1 that. And it was much more rare than magic was in Katala. But her father
00:07:20.996 Speaker 1 was right about that much. If she wanted to drive the Torinshins out, she would need
00:07:26.616 Speaker 1 to understand her enemy. She found the rage she'd been holding trickle out of her.
00:07:32.556 Speaker 1 Then she felt warmth drip down her face. I'm sorry,
00:07:38.316 Speaker 1 Father.
00:07:40.856 Speaker 1 Katrilla was too weak to lift the arm to mop up the tears. She just let them
00:07:46.736 Speaker 1 run down her face. I'm sorry I failed to
00:07:52.536 Speaker 1 save you. No. No more talk of that. It is your
00:07:58.576 Speaker 1 own obsession to Red that makes you say that. You hold unreasonable standards
00:08:04.496 Speaker 1 for yourself.
00:08:07.476 Speaker 1 Who do you think I got that from? He returned a genuinely warm smile
00:08:13.416 Speaker 1 at that.
00:08:15.776 Speaker 1 Not your mother. Katrilla smiled back and the weight of guilt finally lifted from
00:08:21.456 Speaker 1 her. At least the two of them could go back to the way things used to be.
00:08:27.856 Speaker 1 It was a lot of work caring for her father, but it had become familiar over the
00:08:31.576 Speaker 1 years. As much as she complained, it was kind of a bedrock of purpose in her life.
00:08:37.696 Speaker 1 Kat, I've been meaning to tell you this, even before the attack.
00:08:43.716 Speaker 1 You're fired. Katrilla laughed loudly. Huh, and who
00:08:49.676 Speaker 1 will feed you, wash your clothes, keep your schedule? I suppose
00:08:55.856 Speaker 1 I will have to learn. Should have learned a decade ago, but You
00:09:01.856 Speaker 1 just didn't want to do it. It wasn't that. Well, it wasn't only that.
00:09:08.036 Speaker 1 I see now that it was selfish to steal your youth just to keep you close, so
00:09:14.336 Speaker 1 you're fired. Go enjoy real freedom. Katrilla snorted.
00:09:20.316 Speaker 1 Was he serious? How long would this last? A day? Maybe two? It would last until he
00:09:26.316 Speaker 1 realized how hard it was simply to haul water from the fountains each day. You
00:09:31.776 Speaker 1 didn't pay me anyway. Her father, doing his own laundry. Now that was funny.
00:09:37.876 Speaker 1 She slipped out of bed and tested her legs. They felt heavy and uncoordinated, but
00:09:42.956 Speaker 1 functional and getting better by the moment. So she hobbled out of the servant's
00:09:47.376 Speaker 1 hovel to enjoy her day off. The first in over a decade.
00:10:00.456 Speaker 1 Chapter 4. Tel Ta. Home Protector.
00:10:07.076 Speaker 1 Katrilla went about twenty feet down the street before she realized she had no idea
00:10:11.936 Speaker 1 what to do with free time.
00:10:14.736 Speaker 1 She opened up her coin purse. There was more purse than coin there.
00:10:21.116 Speaker 1 I need a job.
00:10:23.775 Speaker 1 But Tiongo wasn't actually serious. He wouldn't make it a week on his own, so what
00:10:29.236 Speaker 1 was the point in starting a job that she'd quit immediately?
00:10:33.676 Speaker 1 So, lacking any direction, she simply walked the streets of Irunto. The streets were
00:10:39.656 Speaker 1 crowded that morning. She noticed that, though they were crowded, they weren't busy.
00:10:45.096 Speaker 1 People leaned and sat against the walls of public buildings. Tired eyes, downcast
00:10:50.316 Speaker 1 faces. Fortunately, they didn't go hungry. Irunto hadn't sunk so far as to deny
00:10:56.156 Speaker 1 food to those without it. A person had a right to eat. As she walked towards the
00:11:01.356 Speaker 1 district center, she realized that these people must be waiting in a line. There
00:11:05.476 Speaker 1 must have been hundreds of people in the line. Katrilla stopped to talk to a
00:11:10.436 Speaker 1 bored-looking man near the front of the line. What are you here for? Tel Ta
00:11:16.016 Speaker 1 signups today. Line starts back there. He pointed in the direction she'd come from.
00:11:22.496 Speaker 1 Why are you signing up? The man scowled at her, obviously wondering why she had
00:11:27.996 Speaker 1 singled him out for questioning. Because it pays. That's it? He
00:11:33.836 Speaker 1 looked at her like she was insane, then deliberately turned away to face the wall.
00:11:39.336 Speaker 1 So she talked to the next person in line. And you? You're enlisting just for money?
00:11:45.876 Speaker 1 The woman nodded. Most of the people in line only had flecks of color in their hair
00:11:51.036 Speaker 1 and on their fingernails. Either this group of people hadn't been making time for
00:11:55.296 Speaker 1 reflection, or they were disproportionately from the small portion of society who
00:12:00.056 Speaker 1 could not store much potential. Still, the six selves provided more than magical
00:12:05.676 Speaker 1 ability. They directed your personal growth. How else would you know how to improve
00:12:10.536 Speaker 1 without reflecting? Come up with advice on your own? That didn't even make sense.
00:12:15.376 Speaker 1 How in the world did a person advise themselves? Reflection was the very basis of
00:12:20.836 Speaker 1 Catullan society. "Ah, a talented practitioner. Are you signing up
00:12:26.816 Speaker 1 for the Tel-Tar today?" Catrilla turned to see a woman with a writing board standing
00:12:32.036 Speaker 1 next to her. The man she'd spoken to earlier stepped between them. "She's not in
00:12:36.496 Speaker 1 line." "Maybe not, but by the looks of it, she could throw you through this wall."
00:12:41.916 Speaker 1 The man looked at Catrilla, then stepped back in line, fuming silently.
00:12:46.876 Speaker 1 "Well, are you signing up?" "No, I'm just going for a walk."
00:12:52.236 Speaker 1 "Only takes a day to do the tryouts, and we pay anyone who makes it past the first
00:12:57.556 Speaker 1 round." "I'm busy." She started to walk off. The woman turned back
00:13:03.596 Speaker 1 to her writing tablet. "Shame. No shortage of people who'd like to throw the
00:13:09.276 Speaker 1 servant prime's daughter in a bout." Catrilla stopped walking. "What did you
00:13:15.156 Speaker 1 say?" "There's a lot of people who would love to fight you." Catrilla looked
00:13:21.196 Speaker 1 up and down the line of people. They seemed exceptionally undedicated, both
00:13:27.236 Speaker 1 in terms of physical fitness and dedication to reflection. "No, not these
00:13:32.976 Speaker 1 people. At the end of tryouts, the regular Tel-Tar fight the recruits in bouts to
00:13:37.796 Speaker 1 determine the enlistment offers." Catrilla looked up at the sky. It was only
00:13:43.816 Speaker 1 mid-morning, but the heat of the day already felt hot enough to cook by. Teongo
00:13:49.176 Speaker 1 would be well taken care of at the clinic. She could spare the time.
00:13:54.716 Speaker 1 "Do you serve lunch?" The recruiter laughed. "I'll make an exception for
00:14:00.776 Speaker 1 you if you let me introduce you to my captain." "Sure." It had been
00:14:06.796 Speaker 1 a few days since she'd sparred. Besides, it would feel good to knock down a
00:14:12.716 Speaker 1 few big egos.
00:14:17.516 Speaker 1 Catrilla grabbed the other woman by the arm, then tapped red to stiffen her lower
00:14:21.716 Speaker 1 body. Using her hip as a lever, she threw the woman to the mat. Then she dropped to
00:14:27.256 Speaker 1 the mat with the woman and stiffened her arm and shoulders to stone, pressing her
00:14:31.256 Speaker 1 forearm to her throat. "Yield. I yield." The woman slapped the ground
00:14:37.296 Speaker 1 with one open hand. "Recruit sixty-four wins." Catrilla tried to
00:14:43.276 Speaker 1 help her up, but the woman refused help and stormed off. Some people were like that.
00:14:49.456 Speaker 1 Sometimes it was hard not to take a defeat in the ring personally. There was a small
00:14:54.616 Speaker 1 crowd of people watching the sparring matches. People lacking in orange were often
00:14:59.216 Speaker 1 sent to places like this to study. These people didn't have the look of martial arts
00:15:04.296 Speaker 1 students, though. They looked like Tel-Tar regulars sizing up their potential new
00:15:09.896 Speaker 1 recruits. Catrilla stepped off the padded square and onto the dirt streets. The
00:15:15.756 Speaker 1 recruiter who had signed her up for the day's events beamed. She introduced herself
00:15:20.036 Speaker 1 as Maya. "That's four in a row. Make sure you write Fotu
00:15:25.656 Speaker 1 Squad as your first choice." A thin man with mostly bright blue dreadlocks was
00:15:31.156 Speaker 1 standing beside her. He had an enormous amount of blue. Not the most she'd ever
00:15:36.596 Speaker 1 seen, but it was impressive. This was Fotu Squad's scout, Iltan.
00:15:41.836 Speaker 1 "That's us." "I'm not joining the Tel-Tar. I told you."
00:15:47.296 Speaker 1 "Sure. Okay. It's not like we do any actual fighting. It's more like a, a club."
00:15:53.076 Speaker 1 "It's not like a club, Iltan. We're militia. Ignore him.
00:15:59.596 Speaker 1 It is an honor to serve with the Tel-Tar." Catrilla nodded eagerly. Even though
00:16:05.536 Speaker 1 she wasn't a servant, what she said would have an impact on her father's reputation.
00:16:10.996 Speaker 1 His reputation, in turn, was connected to all of White Leaf District's reputation.
00:16:16.476 Speaker 1 If their servant prime's daughter didn't honor traditions as old as the Tel-Tar,
00:16:21.436 Speaker 1 then surely White Leaf District was falling apart. Then again, if her father was
00:16:27.276 Speaker 1 currently making friends with the Torinxians, how much damage control could she
00:16:31.776 Speaker 1 really do to his reputation? "I have to go. I have
00:16:37.616 Speaker 1 other duties." "Don't go. One more match. This one is with a regular.
00:16:43.736 Speaker 1 The captain himself is going to fight you." Catrilla rolled her eyes. It's not like
00:16:49.636 Speaker 1 she actually had anything to do. "Fine. One more, but only because you're paying
00:16:55.556 Speaker 1 me." "Paying you?" Maya hit Iltan with her writing board.
00:17:01.336 Speaker 1 "Hush, you." "Wait a minute. You're not paying me?" Maya
00:17:07.356 Speaker 1 hit Iltan a second time. She tried for a third time, but he tapped blue and easily
00:17:12.556 Speaker 1 caught the writing board and pulled it away from her, laughing. This was an ox pile
00:17:17.816 Speaker 1 if she'd ever seen one. They weren't paying her? Sure, she'd won, but
00:17:23.756 Speaker 1 she was going to have bruises for a week. Catrilla was no warrior, but these people
00:17:28.696 Speaker 1 were inexperienced and had little to no potential stored at all. All four opponents
00:17:34.336 Speaker 1 had fought viciously, however. The warriors Catrilla sparred with always pulled
00:17:39.056 Speaker 1 their blows, and both fighters left with an understanding that it could have gone
00:17:44.276 Speaker 1 much worse. They never actually hit each other with full force. Outside of the rare
00:17:49.876 Speaker 1 prize tournaments, anyway. The purpose of a sparring match was to prove who was
00:17:54.816 Speaker 1 better, not cripple each other. Training that crippled you was worse than pointless.
00:18:01.416 Speaker 1 Catrilla watched her last combatant limp away, and to her disbelief, get right back
00:18:06.996 Speaker 1 in line. "Do the same people try to enlist every
00:18:12.976 Speaker 1 week, Maya?" Every week? More like every day.
00:18:19.300 Speaker 1 We take turns doing the recruitment, but yes, it's the same people each day.
00:18:25.120 Speaker 1 Sad, really, yes. Most of them will never make it. The squad captains don't even
00:18:30.100 Speaker 1 show up anymore till the end. So that was why they'd picked her out of the
00:18:35.980 Speaker 1 line. She was the first new face they'd seen in a long time. That and
00:18:41.820 Speaker 1 her hair and fingernails marked her as someone talented in reflection. Why do they
00:18:47.160 Speaker 1 try so hard? It didn't make any sense. Iltan and Maya looked at each
00:18:53.080 Speaker 1 other, hesitation and confusion written on their faces. Because they're poor.
00:18:58.920 Speaker 1 Maya nodded.
00:19:01.780 Speaker 1 White Leaf provides for the poor. Why come here every day just to get beat up?
00:19:09.120 Speaker 1 The chance to get beat up. Most of the time they just wait in line to be sent away
00:19:14.220 Speaker 1 again. Iltan is right, but there's more to it than that.
00:19:20.140 Speaker 1 These people are impoverished in other ways. The Tel'ta is a very honorable
00:19:26.360 Speaker 1 path for those who don't want to swear the oaths of servitude.
00:19:32.200 Speaker 1 Even if you feed someone, give them a place to sleep and clothes to wear, they
00:19:38.220 Speaker 1 are still impoverished of purpose.
00:19:42.140 Speaker 1 People need a reason to live. Catrilla watched the hundreds of people
00:19:48.020 Speaker 1 idling in line. A small fraction of White Leaf's people. Her people.
00:19:54.360 Speaker 1 But they told of a problem she hadn't known existed. This was not a problem caused
00:20:00.280 Speaker 1 by the Torinshans. It was the system working as intended, and still people
00:20:05.780 Speaker 1 despaired. A new fear turned in her guts. She could do everything
00:20:11.260 Speaker 1 right and still fail. How did you give someone a purpose?
00:20:17.480 Speaker 1 Catrilla frowned and walked away from the Tel'ta recruiters toward the public
00:20:22.260 Speaker 1 reflection rooms. Another worry nagged at her. What if her father really didn't
00:20:28.280 Speaker 1 need her? What if she was cast out? What then
00:20:34.420 Speaker 1 was her purpose?